Yep, I cheated. completely. Instead of a beautifully written Christmas letter on holiday themed stationary you get this. However, considering that the choices were no letter at all or this I think this is an acceptable compromise. I will start off with a yearly recap and then catch you up on how the boys are doing.
Just short of a year ago, Karl's and my life changed in the most frustratingly and amazing way. First let me explain. Just short of one year ago, we saw pictures of two little boys in Ethiopia who were looking for a family. The oldest, Ajura, is five, his name means "don't worry about me." He has a shy, hesitant smile, but even with that smile his dimples sneak out. Ahmi has just turned three. He always has his shoes on the wrong feet (still does) and a runny nose. All we really know about the boys is they are from Gambella, Ethiopia which is on the border of Sudan. The boys will be very dark skinned, tall, and will sweat a lot (Ajura most certainly does). We knew they were the boys we were searching for. We accepted the referral and then were told to expect to go to court in March and bring the boys home in May. Very funny. We watied and waited and waited to receive a court date. Finally, beginning of May, I received a phone call in the OR as I was just finishing a case. We had a court date on May 31st! We had to plan a trip to Africa in just a few short weeks. While waiting in the airport to leave Bismarck we realized we would be meeting our son for the first time on his sixth birthday! Meeting the boys and holding them was such an overwhelming and surreal experience and we were able to share this time with another family, the Rackaways, whom have become very special to us over this last year. Five short days after holding them in our arms for the first time we had to leave them in Africa while we headed home. Again we were told to expect to pick them up the end of July. Sure. We finally received the ok from the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia to bring our boys home the end of August. They have been in the U.S. with us since August 31st.
Ajura is still the quieter one of the two. He loves to ride his bike and really enjoys playing basketball with the kids at his school. He is in first grade and is doing very well. His English level is amazing to us and he consistently uses 5 words sentences at this point. He has wonderful, supportive kids in his class and his two teachers understand this little boy so well. He looks out for his little brother even bringing extras treats from school home to him. Ajura loves animals and helps look after our two dogs Nali (Barski as the kids call her) and Kinde (Peanut Butter). Ajura welcomes the snow and cold with open arms.
Ahmi is the wild man. He is the one who dances around and due to his age and lack of refrain says the silliest things. He will charm you so fast you won't know what hit you. Believe me. He just started preschool in December and hasn't been kicked out yet so we are thankful. He loves his big brother and will follow him to the ends of the earth. Ahmi isn't as sold on the cold and snow but loves to sled and push his trucks around for a little while.
Nali and Kinde have also had a huge adjustment to their lives and have been so amazing with the boys. We wouldn't be a family without them.
Karl is adjusting beautifully to fatherhood. Big shocker, I know, we all knew he would be great at it. When he isn't being Daddy, he works at Bobcat as a design engineer. He still spends as much time with his girlfriend, Mother Nature, as possible. Hunting, fish hunting (as the kids call it), and any other activity you can do outside are his favorites. He is two boys and a wife's dream come true.
Lura is still working for St. Alexius as a nurse anesthetist in addition to being Mommy. Thanks to a wonderful support system she was able to go back to Milot, Haiti again this year were she assisted in the delivery of many babies and the tumor removal on a three day old. When she isn't doing laundry or cleaning up after the many boys in the house, Lura enjoys playing outside (when it isn't too cold) and spending time with friends (usually over a beer).
Thank you all for being such an important part of our lives this year and for the continued support for our new family. Cheers and blessings this holiday season and throughout the new year!
The Spears
(Karl, Lura, Ajura, Ahmi, Nali and Kinde)
After Thanksgiving we have been so busy with Christmas preparation, school program, soccer, basketball, Ahmi's 4th birthday... It really seems like there is no end to the madness. Ajura started to really participate in soccer and Ahmi's participation somewhat dwindled. Funny how that works. Ajura's real sport love is basketball. He started at the beginning of this month and really loves playing. Looking forward to his first game coming up in January. Ajura had his first holiday program at school and we were so nervous. Music class is not his favorite to say the least. There was a lot of, "Ajura if you link arms with the other kids and sway back and forth Daddy will take you on a dozer ride after school" situations occurring. Ajura kept telling me, "Mommy, Ajura scary." We encouraged him to do his best and he got on that stage and did the WHOLE thing!!! We and his teachers were so proud.
Ahmi's 4th birthday was on the 19th. We did a small party for him at Space Aliens restaurant the last Saturday and he had a great time there. The kids ran around and played games and then we went to our friend's house to open his presents. Ahmi was seriously overwhelmed by all the commotion and gift part of his birthday and Ajura wasn't too thrilled with all of the gift giving for Ahmi but we made it. One of his favorite gifts is a birthday card that sings, "Move It" from Madagascar. We hear that song a lot. On his actual birthday we had just family over for a dinner and birthday cake. Ahmi wanted tacos and ate 3 of them.
The four of us as a family went out to eat for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I didn't realize this was the first time since we were in Ethiopia together so when the waitress came to the table and asked us for our drink orders Ajura looked at her and said, "Avocado juice please." Well, avocado juice really isn't on tap in Bismarck, ND so we had to explain that to him and then we remembered that is what we would all order in Ethiopia. Ajura's English is developing so quickly and it is so fun right now to be able to talk to him about life in Ethiopia. His stories get very elaborate and exciting. It is so fun to be able to talk with each other.
Ahmi and Ajura went ice fish hunting (haha) for the first time this week with Daddy and as Karl puts it not much fish hunting was accomplished. As soon as he got the fish house set up Ajura had to caca and just like his mom he took one look at the porta potty he bailed. While this was occurring, Ahmi proceeded to step in the ice fishing hole and getting his foot and boot soaked up to his kneecap. They had a blast with each other and I got to hear a bunch of stories from their adventure when I was done with work that day. They like to eat smoked oysters and brownies on their ice fishing journeys. Weirdos.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
This foot she's tired
It has been a long time since I last posted. Life just kinda gets away from you. Shocking right? It has been an extremely busy last month. Our calender is enough to make you want to turn right back around and pull the covers over your head. We trudge ahead with smiles on our faces.
Halloween went well. Ajura decided he wanted to be a fireman and I decided that Ahmi wanted to be Mr. T. I am completely taking advantage of the fact that at this point Ahmi still lets me dress him. We went to my friend Kelli's house and went house to house with her daughter Ella. They both did amazingly well in the frigid cold. Ahmi was kinda that awkward kid that stood in the doorway and stared at the people like "So...are you going to invite me in?" It was pretty cute. The boys English is amazing and although sad they don't speak to each other in Amharic at all anymore. I can easily talk with the boys and they are starting to be able to tell me about Ethiopia. It is so fun to be able to communicate. Especially when Ajura tries to explain things like, "Mommy, this foot (pointing at his right foot) she's tired."
Just when you think the process is over you get to start all new paperwork. YIPPEE! Not really. Just something you need to do. We started the readoption process at the beginning of November and we also have had our first post adoption report. Our social worker came over to our house while I was in Haiti. Karl said, "Good thing she was really only looking to be sure the kids had been fed and they have a room to sleep in!" He was on day 6 of single parenthood. I was so proud of him!!! The boys actually did really well with my trip. We talked about Mommy going to Haiti everyday up to the day I left and then Karl showed the boys on the calendar when I was coming home and they would cross a day off everyday. I was able to email them and FaceTime. Karl's parents came to help Karl out and the boys were able to spend quality time with Grandma and Grandpa Spears. It was a difficult decision to make but I want to teach the boys we need to continue to help others. Karl and I were also both very comfortable with how the boys were doing at home. Again, we are so lucky. We had a big snowstorm when I left and the boys were really excited yelling, "The snow she's coming!" Everything is a she. Speaking of funny things, Ahmi calls his backpack a "pappyock."
Thanksgiving was so fun! My dad scheduled a hayride, the best part of the hayride were the two ponies that came with it. Ajura and Ahmi both rode a horse/pony for the first time. Ahmi just said, "scary!" the whole time but Ajura said, "Mommy, no scary." I asked him if he wanted to ride a pony to school and right away he said, "yes... well maybe not." He told me later riding the pony wasn't scary but, "Ajura has to look for animals." He was so darn cute on that horse. At the end he said, "Ajura she's tired." Such a great idea for the kids, they all loved it! On Thanksgiving day it was very cold but we needed to get our family photos taken for our post adoption report and my cousin (who is a talented photographer) was able to take our photos. Check out my facebook for the link. We got all those pictures in less than 15 minutes!!! The boys did such a great job cooperating, even though we were all so cold. I like the last photo where they are sitting on the deck and Ahmi has his hand in Ajura's pocket because his hand is so cold. Great time with family and friends that day. The kids played really well with my cousins' kids. I am amazed by these kids every single day.
Next Monday Ahmi is going to start preschool. It is pretty funny currently because when we tell Ahmi he is too little to do something we often say the reasoning is because he is too "teenish" (little). Well now since he gets to go to school he thinks he is big. He is pretty proud. This kid LOVES to play Just Dance on the Wii. He is a dancing machine. He takes after his mommy. ;)
Ajura is doing very well in school and on his third week of soccer he finally decided to participate. Ahmi (although he isn't signed up) has been participating in his place and now that he has everyone wrapped around his finger they are continuing to let him participate. Goober. Ajura is opening up more and more everyday. He cleaned the ENTIRE basement by himself yesterday. Seriously it was better than Karl does (sorry honey). He is such a sweet boy who works so hard.
Wow, now on to Christmas... This should be interesting.
Halloween went well. Ajura decided he wanted to be a fireman and I decided that Ahmi wanted to be Mr. T. I am completely taking advantage of the fact that at this point Ahmi still lets me dress him. We went to my friend Kelli's house and went house to house with her daughter Ella. They both did amazingly well in the frigid cold. Ahmi was kinda that awkward kid that stood in the doorway and stared at the people like "So...are you going to invite me in?" It was pretty cute. The boys English is amazing and although sad they don't speak to each other in Amharic at all anymore. I can easily talk with the boys and they are starting to be able to tell me about Ethiopia. It is so fun to be able to communicate. Especially when Ajura tries to explain things like, "Mommy, this foot (pointing at his right foot) she's tired."
Just when you think the process is over you get to start all new paperwork. YIPPEE! Not really. Just something you need to do. We started the readoption process at the beginning of November and we also have had our first post adoption report. Our social worker came over to our house while I was in Haiti. Karl said, "Good thing she was really only looking to be sure the kids had been fed and they have a room to sleep in!" He was on day 6 of single parenthood. I was so proud of him!!! The boys actually did really well with my trip. We talked about Mommy going to Haiti everyday up to the day I left and then Karl showed the boys on the calendar when I was coming home and they would cross a day off everyday. I was able to email them and FaceTime. Karl's parents came to help Karl out and the boys were able to spend quality time with Grandma and Grandpa Spears. It was a difficult decision to make but I want to teach the boys we need to continue to help others. Karl and I were also both very comfortable with how the boys were doing at home. Again, we are so lucky. We had a big snowstorm when I left and the boys were really excited yelling, "The snow she's coming!" Everything is a she. Speaking of funny things, Ahmi calls his backpack a "pappyock."
Thanksgiving was so fun! My dad scheduled a hayride, the best part of the hayride were the two ponies that came with it. Ajura and Ahmi both rode a horse/pony for the first time. Ahmi just said, "scary!" the whole time but Ajura said, "Mommy, no scary." I asked him if he wanted to ride a pony to school and right away he said, "yes... well maybe not." He told me later riding the pony wasn't scary but, "Ajura has to look for animals." He was so darn cute on that horse. At the end he said, "Ajura she's tired." Such a great idea for the kids, they all loved it! On Thanksgiving day it was very cold but we needed to get our family photos taken for our post adoption report and my cousin (who is a talented photographer) was able to take our photos. Check out my facebook for the link. We got all those pictures in less than 15 minutes!!! The boys did such a great job cooperating, even though we were all so cold. I like the last photo where they are sitting on the deck and Ahmi has his hand in Ajura's pocket because his hand is so cold. Great time with family and friends that day. The kids played really well with my cousins' kids. I am amazed by these kids every single day.
Next Monday Ahmi is going to start preschool. It is pretty funny currently because when we tell Ahmi he is too little to do something we often say the reasoning is because he is too "teenish" (little). Well now since he gets to go to school he thinks he is big. He is pretty proud. This kid LOVES to play Just Dance on the Wii. He is a dancing machine. He takes after his mommy. ;)
Ajura is doing very well in school and on his third week of soccer he finally decided to participate. Ahmi (although he isn't signed up) has been participating in his place and now that he has everyone wrapped around his finger they are continuing to let him participate. Goober. Ajura is opening up more and more everyday. He cleaned the ENTIRE basement by himself yesterday. Seriously it was better than Karl does (sorry honey). He is such a sweet boy who works so hard.
Wow, now on to Christmas... This should be interesting.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
The Dunk Hunter and the Entertainer
It has been awhile since my last post. Mostly due to the settling in our routine so things have been running quite smoothly around here. We shall see how things this week go because as of tomorrow I am back to working full time. To be honest, I am excited to get back to work, also a little nervous. I also know that tomorrow around 2:30 I will be missing my little Ahmi climbing down the stairs after his nap wanting to cuddle with his mommy. I will also be missing picking Ajura up from school, which is my favorite part of the day. I love listening to Ajura catch Ahmi up with what he did in school and the interaction Ajura has with me at this time of day. I will be very strange waking up and not even seeing them until I get home in the afternoon. I need to leave for work at 6 in the morning and Karl needs to be at work at 8 so Anne is picking the kids up and helping Karl get them ready for their day. Anne will then drop Ajura off at school and Ahmi off at my friend Danielle's. After school, depending on if I am still working, Autumn will pick Ahmi up from Danielle's and then get Ajura from school. We are so thankful for this help that I could almost cry. Trying to get all that arranged was a huge headache and it is amazing what people will do for you when you need it the most.
School is still going very well for Ajura. He is learning so rapidly and I am proud of him. He was tested to see if he needed ELL services (ummm, DUH!) and shockingly he needs them. The funny or maybe not so funny (I think my sense of humor is slightly warped) is that just prior to taking the test he had a little scuffle with his teacher and refused to participate in taking the test so the whole test just says "no response" on it. I think it is funny because we adoptive parents deal with this everyday. I just think that it is interesting that he gets that score although he refused to participate. We already knew he need ELL services so who really cares I guess. He is finally participating in PE. His ELL teacher told me, "Ajura was the last to start running, but the first to finish." "All the other kids yell, Go Ajura!" Perhaps we have a runner on our hands. He is now finally showing interest in soccer and basketball again. We got home from school one day and he said, "Mommy, basketball, soccer?" I said sure thing buddy! He will start both in November so that should put a wrench in all our scheduling but I am so excited to see him participate and learn to be part of a a team. Another funny Ajura experience is the loss of his first tooth here in America. He had a very loose bottom tooth that his teacher was encouraging him to get rid of. So one day at school he simple pulled it out, showed her, and then opened the classroom door and threw it into the gravel saying simply, "Garbage." Well there goes that. We attempted to explain the tooth fairy to him and he is looking at us like, you crazy white people what are you trying to trick me with now. He wasn't convinced in the least and since we had no tooth for showing him we just simply skipped the tooth fairy. Yes, I know, you are all appalled. Don't worry, the tooth fairy is still open for negotiation.
Here in North Dakota the season is not fall it is hunting. Or as Ahmi explains it is "dunk" (the first hunting Karl did was duck hunting so all hunting is now just dunk). Ajura has been able to go hunting with Karl and is a good little participant. He loves it so much! Yesterday he dunked all day and then jumped on the trampoline at my parents' for at least an hour so when he fell asleep on the ride home last night we weren't surprised. What we were surprised about was how hard he sleeps. We got him out of the car, up the stairs, through a bath, and hoisted onto his top bunk without him waking up! We could even stand him up as long as we held on to him and he was still asleep. When asked this morning, he states he, "sleep in Makina."
Ajura eats everything! Except apple pie, which we tried to explain that I may have to send back his certificate of citizenship (which we received this week, yeah!) for this act.
Now to little Ahmi. Finally when he says his 20 minute questioning in the morning on where everyone he possibly knows is (Daddy work?, Grandma work? Pops work? Ajura school? etc...) Karl will be able to say, yes mommy is at work. Otherwise he would get to me and look at me funny like I have no idea where to put you in this line up. He went for a 3 mile walk with me yesterday while Daddy and Ajura were dunking. I was pretty proud of the little trooper. He is also starting to help around the house. He clears the table after we eat and he kennels up our dog Kinde. This was slightly problematic when he kenneled Kinde up with his train, lincoln log set, and a drum which left no room for poor Kinde to lay down. He simply said, "Mommy, Kinde play." Good intentions.
Our most hilarious Ahmi moment this week was a dinner the other night in which we were eating chili. The boys wanted to know if we were eating chicken or cow and Karl explain we were eating cow and if you know Karl this next part won't surprise you at all. Karl then decides to explain that I hunt cows. Ahmi, taking after his dad, then decides that I hunt cows by running them over with my makina (car). He said this through interpretive dance so it was quite a show. Ahmi is definitely the entertainer of this bunch. Our advice is usually just sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
This week may be rough with us all transitioning into new roles and letting others pick up for the duties Karl and I have been doing independently but I am hopeful and know that we will get through this just like we got through other MAJOR transitions. To my co-workers, I may be a little rusty tomorrow so as Ahmi would say, Be Nice (sounding more like 'penis').
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Uninspired
That is my word for today when sitting down to write out this new blog posting. Believe it or not, although it sounds negative, it is not. Blogging is easier and more entertaining (at least I think) when there are crisis and chaos and funny disasters happening and it has been so peaceful around here that I am scared to ruin the calm by daring to mention it. My best friend asked me what I was doing this afternoon while Ahmi naps and I said,
"Umm, no idea."
His response: "You should blog."
Me: "I have nothing funny to say."
His response: "You should blog."
Me: "I'm boring right now and uninspired."
His response: "All the more reason to blog."
Me: "Fine."
So here I am blogging about peace.
We have finally really settled into a rhythm. On weekdays, Karl gets up at 6:30 and gets ready for the day. Wakes the kids at 6:45, dresses Ajura in the clothes we picked out last night (otherwise I have a feeling the olive green sweat pants and Viking shirt ensemble would make another horrid appearance), I get up at 7, shower while the kids are eating with Karl. After breakfast, I dress Ahmi and deal with the hair while Karl leaves for work. I pack a snack for Ajura and makes sure he has warm clothes in his backpack so I do not appear like an inept mother (funny that that is a beacon for poor parenting), and then drop Ajura off at school. He LOVES school. We actually drove by the school this weekend and he blew it a kiss. Wow have things changed. Then Ahmi and I hang out all day. We try to stay busy running errands and visiting friends because entertaining a 3 year old with an attention span of a squirrel for 8 hours is exhausting. Then at 1 ish, Ahmi has his nap and I have my free time. Usually spent doing laundry. My favorite part of the day (besides picking Ajura up from school) is when Ahmi wakes from his nap and just wants to snuggle. LOVE IT!!! Then we pick Ajura up. Ajura is so excited about his day at school that he talks nonstop about it on the way home and we talk about it during their afternoon snacktime. Then the boys play until Karl gets home and I make dinner. We eat, relax as a family for a bit, and then showers and bedtime. Of course, on occasion, we get babysitters so Karl and I will go out in the evening and the boys are doing really well even with that transition. We truly are doing well. I received an unprompted, spontaneous hug AND kiss from Ajura last Friday!!! Huge step for both of us.
We have been practicing for how things will change when I go back to work and talking the boys through it. In addition, I will be going to Haiti again this year in November (Karl is going to stay home this time and his parents are going to stay with Karl and the boys and get to snuggle with them while I am gone). We are already starting to teach the boys about this and preparing them. Preparation is key in this household.
Funny things this week: Ahmi was explaining to me that he should get to ride a "tinish"(small) bus since Ajura gets to ride a big bus at school. I suggested to him that I wouldn't brag about riding on the small bus. As the Vikings are actually not completely sucking this year Karl is wanting the kids to learn all his cheers. My suggestions was "How about teaching them their last names before, "Go Vikings!" Ahmi still goes by Amen. Ahmi is really fun to scare...not entirely on purpose...I don't do it all the time anyway. Ajura was able to go duck hunting with Karl. We carved pumpkins on Sunday with our friends the Leier's. Little did I realize but all these projects we do "for the kids" really just end up with the parents doing the whole thing. Ok, Karl does the whole thing. I was getting carpal tunnel carving my pumpkin.
On an interesting, kinda sad note, Ajura went to a classmates birthday party last week and did really well until he got cold. He refuses to wear gloves currently. I know, bad parent. After the party, we were at my parents' house and Ajura was trying to warm his hands up so he went to the bathroom and put warm water on his hands. The prickling and uncomfortable sensation scared the crap out of him, he literally started to scream and cry, flinging his hands in the air and scratching them. We calmed him down and I grabbed a warm (not hot) heating pack and slowly warmed his hands back up. Poor kid, and it is hard to explain to him what happened and why. Hopefully he makes friends with his gloves.
Well I think I did pretty well for being uninspired this week. Cheers to another uninspiring week as they seem to be the easiest. ;) Oh and one last thing, 3 year olds don't do well at movies...
"Umm, no idea."
His response: "You should blog."
Me: "I have nothing funny to say."
His response: "You should blog."
Me: "I'm boring right now and uninspired."
His response: "All the more reason to blog."
Me: "Fine."
So here I am blogging about peace.
We have finally really settled into a rhythm. On weekdays, Karl gets up at 6:30 and gets ready for the day. Wakes the kids at 6:45, dresses Ajura in the clothes we picked out last night (otherwise I have a feeling the olive green sweat pants and Viking shirt ensemble would make another horrid appearance), I get up at 7, shower while the kids are eating with Karl. After breakfast, I dress Ahmi and deal with the hair while Karl leaves for work. I pack a snack for Ajura and makes sure he has warm clothes in his backpack so I do not appear like an inept mother (funny that that is a beacon for poor parenting), and then drop Ajura off at school. He LOVES school. We actually drove by the school this weekend and he blew it a kiss. Wow have things changed. Then Ahmi and I hang out all day. We try to stay busy running errands and visiting friends because entertaining a 3 year old with an attention span of a squirrel for 8 hours is exhausting. Then at 1 ish, Ahmi has his nap and I have my free time. Usually spent doing laundry. My favorite part of the day (besides picking Ajura up from school) is when Ahmi wakes from his nap and just wants to snuggle. LOVE IT!!! Then we pick Ajura up. Ajura is so excited about his day at school that he talks nonstop about it on the way home and we talk about it during their afternoon snacktime. Then the boys play until Karl gets home and I make dinner. We eat, relax as a family for a bit, and then showers and bedtime. Of course, on occasion, we get babysitters so Karl and I will go out in the evening and the boys are doing really well even with that transition. We truly are doing well. I received an unprompted, spontaneous hug AND kiss from Ajura last Friday!!! Huge step for both of us.
We have been practicing for how things will change when I go back to work and talking the boys through it. In addition, I will be going to Haiti again this year in November (Karl is going to stay home this time and his parents are going to stay with Karl and the boys and get to snuggle with them while I am gone). We are already starting to teach the boys about this and preparing them. Preparation is key in this household.
Funny things this week: Ahmi was explaining to me that he should get to ride a "tinish"(small) bus since Ajura gets to ride a big bus at school. I suggested to him that I wouldn't brag about riding on the small bus. As the Vikings are actually not completely sucking this year Karl is wanting the kids to learn all his cheers. My suggestions was "How about teaching them their last names before, "Go Vikings!" Ahmi still goes by Amen. Ahmi is really fun to scare...not entirely on purpose...I don't do it all the time anyway. Ajura was able to go duck hunting with Karl. We carved pumpkins on Sunday with our friends the Leier's. Little did I realize but all these projects we do "for the kids" really just end up with the parents doing the whole thing. Ok, Karl does the whole thing. I was getting carpal tunnel carving my pumpkin.
On an interesting, kinda sad note, Ajura went to a classmates birthday party last week and did really well until he got cold. He refuses to wear gloves currently. I know, bad parent. After the party, we were at my parents' house and Ajura was trying to warm his hands up so he went to the bathroom and put warm water on his hands. The prickling and uncomfortable sensation scared the crap out of him, he literally started to scream and cry, flinging his hands in the air and scratching them. We calmed him down and I grabbed a warm (not hot) heating pack and slowly warmed his hands back up. Poor kid, and it is hard to explain to him what happened and why. Hopefully he makes friends with his gloves.
Well I think I did pretty well for being uninspired this week. Cheers to another uninspiring week as they seem to be the easiest. ;) Oh and one last thing, 3 year olds don't do well at movies...
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Cold, Coat, or Kota?
Winter has officially started in North Dakota. We are getting snow! I LOVE IT!! I am such a snow girl but unfortunately I believe I may have a cold-blooded son. Ahmi literally slows down in the cold. We were getting out of the pool the other day and walked into the cool hallway and he stops dead in his tracks and says, "Momma, Kota." Shivers. Then continues walking but is doing it robot style. Like serious pop and locking. He has turned into a chameleon that had its heating lamp turned off. This may be an interesting winter. I should also explain the Kota part. Kota is my parent's dog and Ahmi and Kota have had a few misunderstandings. You see, Kota likes to bark (charming quality that my dad has instilled in her) and she will chase moving things (she is a hunting dog). Neither of the qualities mix well with a 3 year old. So the name Kota is well imprinted in Ahmi's brain. Therefore anything that sounds like Kota, like for instance cold or coat, is just Kota. Leaves a lot up for translation.
We are on week two of school and things are going really well. We have our issues with getting dressed in the morning. Although I let him pick out most of his attire we still somehow end up with a battle and that leads to Ajura sitting in his bedroom in complete shut down mode which sometimes then leads to me dressing him like a life sized "My Buddy" doll (remember those, ha) and then dragging/carrying him to the car so we aren't late for school while Ahmi is dancing and circling us both like a cat singing, "Momma's makina!" I am pretty sure our dogs are looking at me like, "Wow, why do people cage up animals for entertainment when they could be witnessing this." Luckily for him, Karl is gone by this time in the morning. Don't you worry buddy, your time is coming up when I go back to work. Insert evil laugh. This week, thankfully, I have not had to drag him to the car because he actually really looks forward to school. Once I start the car and back out of the garage he runs downstairs and puts his shoes on and gets in the car. After the pouting is over, I always ask Ajura to look me in the eyes (which is a big thing for him), tell him we are a family and that we will always love him and be together, even when we have bad days, and he will say sorry to me and then I give him a hug. He definitely does not hug or kiss me without prompting and definitely will not hug me back but we are getting there. Getting him to look me in the eyes is huge. Yesterday, after school, we were driving home and Ajura said, "Momma, window down, please." It almost brought tears to my eyes because this is coming from my son who usually just demands things. I know it sounds crazy that this small gesture meant so much but it was a genuine please that didn't need prompting. We definitely have our ups and downs every single day but they are getting better and better. Today for instance we got ready for school without the smallest of hiccup. Well, let me rephrase, we got dressed without a hiccup, the hiccup was more of a belch that occurred at 5:30 this morning that included kids out of bed and a dog peeing on the floor but you know, small victories. We get to school and Ajura wants to bring a noise maker he received from my friend's birthday party the night before. Ajura wanted to bring it to school which knowing my son as I do would only result in blown eardrums and a phone call. Therefore I refused, unfortunately my timing was poor as he had already exited the car and is standing pretty much in the middle of the school's parking lot. So he shuts down and sits down in the middle of the parking lot where parents are dropping their children off left and right. Here I am holding a backpack and using my best mom voice trying to get him up before we both loose all dignity. This may be crude, but for those of you who have seen the movie "Bridesmaids" and the bride is pooping in the street due to food poisoning and she is waving other cars on is pretty much how I felt in this instance. Yep, I am totally not in control and I have no idea when it will end and did I mention my 3 year old is in the car still? I'm just smiling and waving at all the other families with their children that drive by us. Thankfully, this goes on for only about 5 minutes and he gets up and allows us to go into the school.
Minus the shut downs he is really doing quite well. He rides his bike without training wheels. Takes the garbage out. Is really doing well with English, although hesitant to use it. His understanding amazes me. The birthday party invites have already begun which freaks me out as he literally knows like 11 kids. We went to the pumpkin patch last Friday and when leaving the car he said, "No, No, No Momma." Now I see these words more like a challenge, well let's be honest, I totally ignore them, and carry on. He ended up having a great time. Duh, told ya. Karl gave the kids the business about constantly saying "No" last night and then when we (yes just Karl and myself, woohoo!) went out to dinner last night we decided that we may need to clarify the "never say no" rule. It kind of goes against the whole "say no to drugs/strangers/backwash."
Ahmi has a future in rodeo we think. Thankfully he wears his helmet everywhere he goes (truly, he doesn't know how to get it off so when outside he wears it the entire time he is out there). Back to the rodeo, Ahmi was trying to keep our wild dog Nali in the house while he was opening the back door and wrapped his arms in a choke hold around her neck. Ahmi weighs less than a flea to Nali so she just dashes out the door with Ahmi hanging on around her neck, legs dragging. He finally let go when they got to the steps. Not even a tear shed. So proud. He is full of kisses and hugs. His "be nice" sounds a lot like "penis" which my sister and her fiancee giggle about constantly (ok, I do too, especially when he says "Pe-nice Brett").
I have to say one of the best things currently about being a parent is that right now we can choose so easily what are kids are exposed to. I have to admit I secretly relish in the fact that Ahmi thinks the merry-go-round horses at the mall just sit there and don't move, not understanding that they move once mom puts money in them. All video games are currently "broken." Evil you may think, yep, probably, but they will be exposed to all those things in time and it is fun to watch them love the simple things. Also currently the word "tomorrow" is magical. Seriously, the boys will be watching a cartoon and it is time for shower and bed and they ask, "TV tomorrow?" we say yes and up they jump. Perhaps it just shows they have hope and faith that tomorrow is going to be another crazy but wonderful day. Me too.
We are on week two of school and things are going really well. We have our issues with getting dressed in the morning. Although I let him pick out most of his attire we still somehow end up with a battle and that leads to Ajura sitting in his bedroom in complete shut down mode which sometimes then leads to me dressing him like a life sized "My Buddy" doll (remember those, ha) and then dragging/carrying him to the car so we aren't late for school while Ahmi is dancing and circling us both like a cat singing, "Momma's makina!" I am pretty sure our dogs are looking at me like, "Wow, why do people cage up animals for entertainment when they could be witnessing this." Luckily for him, Karl is gone by this time in the morning. Don't you worry buddy, your time is coming up when I go back to work. Insert evil laugh. This week, thankfully, I have not had to drag him to the car because he actually really looks forward to school. Once I start the car and back out of the garage he runs downstairs and puts his shoes on and gets in the car. After the pouting is over, I always ask Ajura to look me in the eyes (which is a big thing for him), tell him we are a family and that we will always love him and be together, even when we have bad days, and he will say sorry to me and then I give him a hug. He definitely does not hug or kiss me without prompting and definitely will not hug me back but we are getting there. Getting him to look me in the eyes is huge. Yesterday, after school, we were driving home and Ajura said, "Momma, window down, please." It almost brought tears to my eyes because this is coming from my son who usually just demands things. I know it sounds crazy that this small gesture meant so much but it was a genuine please that didn't need prompting. We definitely have our ups and downs every single day but they are getting better and better. Today for instance we got ready for school without the smallest of hiccup. Well, let me rephrase, we got dressed without a hiccup, the hiccup was more of a belch that occurred at 5:30 this morning that included kids out of bed and a dog peeing on the floor but you know, small victories. We get to school and Ajura wants to bring a noise maker he received from my friend's birthday party the night before. Ajura wanted to bring it to school which knowing my son as I do would only result in blown eardrums and a phone call. Therefore I refused, unfortunately my timing was poor as he had already exited the car and is standing pretty much in the middle of the school's parking lot. So he shuts down and sits down in the middle of the parking lot where parents are dropping their children off left and right. Here I am holding a backpack and using my best mom voice trying to get him up before we both loose all dignity. This may be crude, but for those of you who have seen the movie "Bridesmaids" and the bride is pooping in the street due to food poisoning and she is waving other cars on is pretty much how I felt in this instance. Yep, I am totally not in control and I have no idea when it will end and did I mention my 3 year old is in the car still? I'm just smiling and waving at all the other families with their children that drive by us. Thankfully, this goes on for only about 5 minutes and he gets up and allows us to go into the school.
Minus the shut downs he is really doing quite well. He rides his bike without training wheels. Takes the garbage out. Is really doing well with English, although hesitant to use it. His understanding amazes me. The birthday party invites have already begun which freaks me out as he literally knows like 11 kids. We went to the pumpkin patch last Friday and when leaving the car he said, "No, No, No Momma." Now I see these words more like a challenge, well let's be honest, I totally ignore them, and carry on. He ended up having a great time. Duh, told ya. Karl gave the kids the business about constantly saying "No" last night and then when we (yes just Karl and myself, woohoo!) went out to dinner last night we decided that we may need to clarify the "never say no" rule. It kind of goes against the whole "say no to drugs/strangers/backwash."
Ahmi has a future in rodeo we think. Thankfully he wears his helmet everywhere he goes (truly, he doesn't know how to get it off so when outside he wears it the entire time he is out there). Back to the rodeo, Ahmi was trying to keep our wild dog Nali in the house while he was opening the back door and wrapped his arms in a choke hold around her neck. Ahmi weighs less than a flea to Nali so she just dashes out the door with Ahmi hanging on around her neck, legs dragging. He finally let go when they got to the steps. Not even a tear shed. So proud. He is full of kisses and hugs. His "be nice" sounds a lot like "penis" which my sister and her fiancee giggle about constantly (ok, I do too, especially when he says "Pe-nice Brett").
I have to say one of the best things currently about being a parent is that right now we can choose so easily what are kids are exposed to. I have to admit I secretly relish in the fact that Ahmi thinks the merry-go-round horses at the mall just sit there and don't move, not understanding that they move once mom puts money in them. All video games are currently "broken." Evil you may think, yep, probably, but they will be exposed to all those things in time and it is fun to watch them love the simple things. Also currently the word "tomorrow" is magical. Seriously, the boys will be watching a cartoon and it is time for shower and bed and they ask, "TV tomorrow?" we say yes and up they jump. Perhaps it just shows they have hope and faith that tomorrow is going to be another crazy but wonderful day. Me too.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
My first days in first grade
I know it has been awhile again. Things were going really well last week and I really didn't have a ton to write about because chaos is much more entertaining to read about (unless it is your family). Highlights of the last week included: started our first day (out of 60!!!) of oral antifungal meds, had 2 playdates, and checked out Ajura's school. Playdates went well and I was proud of both boys working on interacting with other children. But the real big deal of the week has been school. Yep, Ajura and I started first grade this week. This is how it is going...
Last Wednesday we gave school a test drive, meaning we went to the school when all the other kids were gone and Karl and I went with Ajura. He met Sparky the fish is what he would probably tell you about that first encounter. We had a really good experience though. We are going to Apple Creek school and for those of you who don't know it is a small country school. Seriously, there are only 4 students in 6th grade and Ajura's class is the largest with 12. Not only are the small class sizes a bonus, but Ajura is the only student that needs an ELL (English Language Learner) teacher and therefore he has a ELL teacher one-on-one in addition to his 1st grade teacher. AWESOME!! Kinda funny thing is his ELL teacher came here from South Korea last year and has a bit of an accent. She is so wonderful with Ajura and the first thing she said to me is, "I remember being scared and overwhelmed coming here, so my first order of business is to get him to feel that I am his safe person and he is safe at school. Then we work on the language portion of things." She deals so gracefully with his breakdowns and doesn't baby him but makes him feel safe. Pretty good for a little country school. This first time in the school he was really excited about his desk and like I said Sparky the fish, but he wasn't too keen on leaving his items from his backpack in his desk.
Day 2 of school: BAD!!!! We arrived at recess time and we were going to give him a test to see if he needed us at school. Well the fact that when he saw Karl start to drive away and FREAKED out would probably point to the fact that we aren't ready for going to school solo. Kind of a set-back but his teacher is ready for day 3 so here we go...
Day 3 of school: Somewhat of success, we actually were able to enter the school for a brief moment but there was no escape for those of us that have passed first grade previously. He watched the other children play at recess but would not participate. Understandable. However, I will mention that he is bigger than even some of the 6th grade girls and it makes me giggle.
Phew the weekend, tough week at school since we put a total of maybe 3 hours in. However, this weekend the boys went to the pool for the first time. Anne was so excited to take them swimming and we were a bit anxious because all other experiences with water have caused them to be nervous (they think crocodiles are going to eat them on the river). The kids literally RAN into the swimming pool. Mind you, neither one can swim or float at all but they LOVED the water and playing around. Too bad the lifeguards were Nazis about everything. I mean really we have 5 people in the pool for 2 kids. One is a anesthesiologist, a nurse anesthetist, two lifeguards, and an engineer (Karl can build a better life jacket or something). I think the children were well guarded to say the least. Sweet, now we have an awesome manipulation tool.
Monday morning Ajura was actually excited for school because Karl promised him a ride on the tractor (which they call a dozer) if he went to school. Perhaps we should have specified that he had to stay there all day and not cry. Minor detail. So I get him into the building without a hassle and he sits in his desk and I learn about homophones. Ajura gets to play with a puzzle. My favorite part of first grade was when a little girl brought her caterpillar to show and tell and the interesting fact was that she thought the caterpillar was dead. My least favorite part was the total meltdown in the middle of the day where Ajura cried for about 1 hour straight. Thankfully, his teacher was great about the whole ordeal and I was eventually able to leave the school for the last part of the day after I ate lunch with him. I did participate in after lunch recess and Ajura was running around and he had a harem of girls following him from place to place. Everyone at school is very interested in him. I find it interesting that due to childhood obesity rates the schools will not provide 2% milk for the kids but they still feed them breaded chicken sandwiches. After school, while I was driving Ajura home, he was just jabbering in the back seat about his day so excitedly. Too bad I couldn't understand even a third of it but is was still so fun to hear him be so animated. Since he stayed at school all day, Karl gave him a ride on the tractor when he got home. Ajura sat on the tractor for an hour waiting for Karl to get home! Fairly good first day.
Tuesday didn't start out well at all. I got up and again we let Ajura pick his outfit to avoid any meltdowns. Then I tried to use the Nudred in his hair (which worked GREAT!) and he got angry and sat down on the step and wouldn't move which makes it very difficult for me to get him into the car and into the school. So we are late for school and I have to literally carry him in. His teacher brings out a stack of pictures that girls in other grades made for him to try to get him to participate. FINALLY he will get up and walk to his desk. After about 30 minutes I am excused and I get NO phone calls! Ajura stayed in school all day without me on the second day! I am very impressed. Therefore, after school we went to the fire station where my friend works. The boys had such a great time! Then when Karl got home it was another ride on the tractor. Anne brought pizza out for us last night which was YUMMY.
Well this whole post is about Ajura but a few things about Ahmi: he currently thinks his name is Amen, he is a disaster at the dinner table, and he told the dogs he loved them yesterday when we were leaving the house (without prompting). He is such a good little guy. He has been able to hang out with our friend Bill the last couple of days while I was experiencing 1st grade and Karl is back at work. He is doing well with this adjustment however he really wants to go to school too with Ajura. No tears but always has the bummed out look when we say we are just dropping Ajura off.
Last Wednesday we gave school a test drive, meaning we went to the school when all the other kids were gone and Karl and I went with Ajura. He met Sparky the fish is what he would probably tell you about that first encounter. We had a really good experience though. We are going to Apple Creek school and for those of you who don't know it is a small country school. Seriously, there are only 4 students in 6th grade and Ajura's class is the largest with 12. Not only are the small class sizes a bonus, but Ajura is the only student that needs an ELL (English Language Learner) teacher and therefore he has a ELL teacher one-on-one in addition to his 1st grade teacher. AWESOME!! Kinda funny thing is his ELL teacher came here from South Korea last year and has a bit of an accent. She is so wonderful with Ajura and the first thing she said to me is, "I remember being scared and overwhelmed coming here, so my first order of business is to get him to feel that I am his safe person and he is safe at school. Then we work on the language portion of things." She deals so gracefully with his breakdowns and doesn't baby him but makes him feel safe. Pretty good for a little country school. This first time in the school he was really excited about his desk and like I said Sparky the fish, but he wasn't too keen on leaving his items from his backpack in his desk.
Day 2 of school: BAD!!!! We arrived at recess time and we were going to give him a test to see if he needed us at school. Well the fact that when he saw Karl start to drive away and FREAKED out would probably point to the fact that we aren't ready for going to school solo. Kind of a set-back but his teacher is ready for day 3 so here we go...
Day 3 of school: Somewhat of success, we actually were able to enter the school for a brief moment but there was no escape for those of us that have passed first grade previously. He watched the other children play at recess but would not participate. Understandable. However, I will mention that he is bigger than even some of the 6th grade girls and it makes me giggle.
Phew the weekend, tough week at school since we put a total of maybe 3 hours in. However, this weekend the boys went to the pool for the first time. Anne was so excited to take them swimming and we were a bit anxious because all other experiences with water have caused them to be nervous (they think crocodiles are going to eat them on the river). The kids literally RAN into the swimming pool. Mind you, neither one can swim or float at all but they LOVED the water and playing around. Too bad the lifeguards were Nazis about everything. I mean really we have 5 people in the pool for 2 kids. One is a anesthesiologist, a nurse anesthetist, two lifeguards, and an engineer (Karl can build a better life jacket or something). I think the children were well guarded to say the least. Sweet, now we have an awesome manipulation tool.
Monday morning Ajura was actually excited for school because Karl promised him a ride on the tractor (which they call a dozer) if he went to school. Perhaps we should have specified that he had to stay there all day and not cry. Minor detail. So I get him into the building without a hassle and he sits in his desk and I learn about homophones. Ajura gets to play with a puzzle. My favorite part of first grade was when a little girl brought her caterpillar to show and tell and the interesting fact was that she thought the caterpillar was dead. My least favorite part was the total meltdown in the middle of the day where Ajura cried for about 1 hour straight. Thankfully, his teacher was great about the whole ordeal and I was eventually able to leave the school for the last part of the day after I ate lunch with him. I did participate in after lunch recess and Ajura was running around and he had a harem of girls following him from place to place. Everyone at school is very interested in him. I find it interesting that due to childhood obesity rates the schools will not provide 2% milk for the kids but they still feed them breaded chicken sandwiches. After school, while I was driving Ajura home, he was just jabbering in the back seat about his day so excitedly. Too bad I couldn't understand even a third of it but is was still so fun to hear him be so animated. Since he stayed at school all day, Karl gave him a ride on the tractor when he got home. Ajura sat on the tractor for an hour waiting for Karl to get home! Fairly good first day.
Tuesday didn't start out well at all. I got up and again we let Ajura pick his outfit to avoid any meltdowns. Then I tried to use the Nudred in his hair (which worked GREAT!) and he got angry and sat down on the step and wouldn't move which makes it very difficult for me to get him into the car and into the school. So we are late for school and I have to literally carry him in. His teacher brings out a stack of pictures that girls in other grades made for him to try to get him to participate. FINALLY he will get up and walk to his desk. After about 30 minutes I am excused and I get NO phone calls! Ajura stayed in school all day without me on the second day! I am very impressed. Therefore, after school we went to the fire station where my friend works. The boys had such a great time! Then when Karl got home it was another ride on the tractor. Anne brought pizza out for us last night which was YUMMY.
Well this whole post is about Ajura but a few things about Ahmi: he currently thinks his name is Amen, he is a disaster at the dinner table, and he told the dogs he loved them yesterday when we were leaving the house (without prompting). He is such a good little guy. He has been able to hang out with our friend Bill the last couple of days while I was experiencing 1st grade and Karl is back at work. He is doing well with this adjustment however he really wants to go to school too with Ajura. No tears but always has the bummed out look when we say we are just dropping Ajura off.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
No, Ay, Ah-deh-lem, shoulder shrug, any way you slice it, it is my least favorite word right now. Why, you may ask? Because I feel like that is all I have heard today. "Is the food good Ajura?" Ay Ay Ay (as he continues to devour it). "Ride in the car/makina?" (favorite thing for them to do) Gambellan shoulders shrugs all around. Fantastic. I have been griping about this all day. Being told "no" constantly regardless of when if they want or don't want, like or don't like makes me feel like I am boarding the crazy train. Tonight while at my parents' for dinner the "nos" we're flying back and forth and although my parents and Teha and Brett understand it embarrasses me a little when my mom asks the kids if they like the food that they have spent a bunch of time on and their response is "no" (of any kind) with a smirky smile. I try to smooth it over by trying to explain to them that that is not nice and it hurts people's feelings. Yep, too complex when your vocabulary with your children is about 30 words. Brett did bring up a good point, he said something along the lines of, I bet they hear no a lot too and are probably just getting you back. Jerk, but darn you are probably right. During a day it does feel like a ton of "no" a bit of "yes" and even a few "hell no" (well not really but the inflection in ones voice applies the hell portion). So tomorrow I am going to try to decrease my no and redirect instead and maybe, just maybe they will throw me a bone.
We are functioning pretty well. Poor little Ahmi had more bloodwork drawn on Friday. I was still feeling sick until yesterday so we had a laid back Friday. Saturday was a blast! I hit up Folkfest with Kelli and then we went to get Ella from riding horse. On the way back to my house, we picked up a clipper for the boys' hair. You guessed it! Ahmi is now rocking a mohawk. Love it! Ajura will be getting his cut tomorrow. Also on our way home, we saw two dogs running down the middle of the highway so we stopped to pick them up for fear of them getting run over. So for an hour or so I had 4 dogs and three kids at my house. One of the dogs was just a puppy and Ajura was so in love. He was trying to get the puppy untangled from under the table and the puppy was kissing his face like crazy and he was just giggling. Once the dogs left, Ella went to go play in the tree house and after a minute or so Ajura followed her and they played the rest of the evening. Ahmi participated as well but Ella and Ajura are closer in age. I was so happy to see my little boy laughing and playing and letting go a little with this awesome little girl. They played until the sun went down and then we put the boys to bed and my parents and sister joined us for conversation out on our back deck. Beautiful night and so much fun.
Sean came over today and met the kids for the first time. We had a great time with him. The boys are starting to take to visitors more quickly. They are shy and hang on to Karl or I for only about 5 minutes now and then they are starting to interact with the visitors. Ahmi has become very affectionate and will give kisses and when I put him down for a nap today he just laid with my and softly rubbed my face. Ahmi also helped me fold laundry and put it away tonight which was a fun task and it was so nice to get the help! Ajura is still our more difficult nut to crack and I think sometimes it is hard for everyone because Ahmi (for many reasons) is more outgoing and affectionate and charming so one easily bonds with him but you have to be persistent without being overbearing to get Ajura. He is just figuring out this whole trust thing. Seeing him reach out and play with Ella was a wonderful sight. I love it when people get to see the side of Ajura that Karl and I get to see. The boy with the belly laugh and protective nature, who loves animals and soaks up every bit of information that goes past him. Like all things, it is so worth the time and effort, because you get paid back infinitely.
We are functioning pretty well. Poor little Ahmi had more bloodwork drawn on Friday. I was still feeling sick until yesterday so we had a laid back Friday. Saturday was a blast! I hit up Folkfest with Kelli and then we went to get Ella from riding horse. On the way back to my house, we picked up a clipper for the boys' hair. You guessed it! Ahmi is now rocking a mohawk. Love it! Ajura will be getting his cut tomorrow. Also on our way home, we saw two dogs running down the middle of the highway so we stopped to pick them up for fear of them getting run over. So for an hour or so I had 4 dogs and three kids at my house. One of the dogs was just a puppy and Ajura was so in love. He was trying to get the puppy untangled from under the table and the puppy was kissing his face like crazy and he was just giggling. Once the dogs left, Ella went to go play in the tree house and after a minute or so Ajura followed her and they played the rest of the evening. Ahmi participated as well but Ella and Ajura are closer in age. I was so happy to see my little boy laughing and playing and letting go a little with this awesome little girl. They played until the sun went down and then we put the boys to bed and my parents and sister joined us for conversation out on our back deck. Beautiful night and so much fun.
Sean came over today and met the kids for the first time. We had a great time with him. The boys are starting to take to visitors more quickly. They are shy and hang on to Karl or I for only about 5 minutes now and then they are starting to interact with the visitors. Ahmi has become very affectionate and will give kisses and when I put him down for a nap today he just laid with my and softly rubbed my face. Ahmi also helped me fold laundry and put it away tonight which was a fun task and it was so nice to get the help! Ajura is still our more difficult nut to crack and I think sometimes it is hard for everyone because Ahmi (for many reasons) is more outgoing and affectionate and charming so one easily bonds with him but you have to be persistent without being overbearing to get Ajura. He is just figuring out this whole trust thing. Seeing him reach out and play with Ella was a wonderful sight. I love it when people get to see the side of Ajura that Karl and I get to see. The boy with the belly laugh and protective nature, who loves animals and soaks up every bit of information that goes past him. Like all things, it is so worth the time and effort, because you get paid back infinitely.
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