Missing my boys

I miss my boys, all three of them when I am in Haiti. I know they are being well taken care of. Karl is a master at keeping children busy and my mother-in-law, Shelley, is there to help. I don’t know how many of you have seen the movie, Erin Brokovich but at the end of the movie when she wins the lawsuit and she brings her boyfriend to one of her client’s house to disperse a check and he gets to see the client’s elated reaction. Erin then turns to him and says, “You helped do this.” This is the way Karl and I work in relation to my trips to Haiti. He has been to Haiti and will go again but he right now he is trying to find his niche again in Haiti. Our scope in Haiti has changed since we first started to go. Initially we (Karl and I) went to Milot, Haiti, here I could work in the hospital and Karl could work with the Bobcat and on other projects. Now that we work in Cap-Haitien, only at a hospital there isn’t really a project for Karl to do. He is of the type that he doesn’t want to waste resources if he isn’t needed. So therefore he stays at home and helps with the boys. He supports me in a way that I don’t know if I can ever deserve.

Very thankfully we are at the point with the boys were they KNOW I am coming home. Attachment has been easy from the start. The boys’ birth mother (who Ajura is remembering more and more about every day!!!) started the attachment process and explained to Ajura enough so that he always felt wanted, never neglected, even when he and Ahmi were orphans. This amazing woman in a way has also been part of my work in Haiti. Had she not fostered attachment in OUR children, I would not and could not leave the boys. I would never leave them if they didn’t think I was coming home.

Many question why I still go to Haiti when I have two little boys at home. My answer is that I see the reflection of my kids in the eyes of the Haitian children that I interact with. This could have been my child. The boy, about 8, who works with his brother on the boat, can’t afford to go to school. This could be Ajura. The persistent little boy on the street asking me for pesos (he thinks I am Hispanic because of my dark hair and tanned skin), his clothes dirty and his belly empty. This could be Ahmi. The mother with her twin boys who sit on the narrow concrete sidewalk by the hospital every day, not begging, just having nowhere else to go. This could have been their family. I keep going to Haiti because I see Ajuras and Ahmis around every corner and maybe my work here will make a better life for them. Maybe someday they will need surgery and our foundation will have made it safer for them because the anesthesia providers taking care of them will have better equipment and extensive education. Ajura and Ahmi get the chance of a better life, shouldn’t I try to pay that forward.

When the boys are older I will start to bring them to Haiti with me. I also hope someday to return to Ethiopia and give back to the country that connected me to my children. Until then I want to teach them that they are the most important children to me, I am their mom, BUT the other moms out there feel the same about their children and they need a chance. That is why I go and will continue to go. Because I am Ajura and Ahmi’s mom and I am a citizen of the world. 

Piss Pump

Wow I have gotten lazy with the blogging. Probably because the rest of our lives seems out of control. At work yesterday I was talking with some coworkers and said, "Seriously, my very organized brain fell out and got lost somewhere over the last 10 months." Hmmmm, I wonder why?

It has been an eventful spring between preparing for Teha and Brett's wedding, readoption, another trip to Haiti, and a birthday party. Let's start at the wedding prep.

Teha and Brett are finally getting married June 15th. Our whole family is in the wedding party so we have all had a few trips to the bridal store, the tailors, and the shoe store. There have also been multiple showers, a bacholerette party in Minneapolis last weekend and a bachelor party today for Karl. Minneapolis was a great time however I have had this miserable cold that just won't go away so that put a bit of a damper on things.

We officially readopted the boys on April 1st. We had to go to the Burleigh county courthouse and go into a court room and everything. It was a special moment because my parent's, Teha and Brett, and Sean and Anne could be there unlike all the previous adoption moments but it still felt like another process to go through. While sitting on my lap in the court room while being asked questions Ajura says, "Mommy, I'm tired" and proceeds to slam his head down on the desk. Audibly. Nice. We get asked a bunch of questions like, "Do you know you will now be financially responsible for these children?" Ummm, duh.  We have been for the last how many months. So why do the readoption process? Until we readopted the boys they had there Ethiopian birth certificates only and these had there previous names on them. The boys now have North Dakota issued birth certificates with their new full names: Ajura Wyn Spears and Ahmi Kidame Spears. This court date also allowed us to have a U.S. adoption decree. Sometimes, depending on relationships between the children's birth country and the U.S. these original Ethiopian documents would not suffice so it is encouraged that you readopt them. Like I said, to us this was really just a thing to get done. It is pretty awesome that the boys now have social security numbers!! Darn, time to save for college...

I was very lucky again to get to travel to Haiti again this spring. This time I went to teach in a public hospital in the second largest city in Haiti, Cap-Haitien. This was such an amazing experience for me and Bill and I have big plans for continuing education and equipment support for this hospital. We were able to spend time with our dear friends Ray and Marie-Jeanne and have met many more. Again I couldn't do these trips without my wonderful husband back home to pick up the slack when I'm gone and to support me in these adventures. So thankful. However, while I was gone I received an email from Karl. It had a photo in it. The photo was of our youngest son with facial hair. Karl had cut Ajura's hair, collected the hair and with the coconut oil got it to stick to Ahmi's face. Wow. I almost grabbed the next flight home thinking Karl was losing it.

Ajura's birthday was on Tuesday. It was very special because it was his first birthday in the U.S. and it was also the year anniversary since meeting the boys. We had my parents and Teha and Brett over for pizza and cake. The boys played outside with the slip-n-slide and we drank some beer. I somehow managed to destroy both my oven and a pizza by dropping the entire Papa Murphy's pizza onto the heating element at the bottom. I am talented. We grilled the other pizzas and Ahmi still ate the charred remains of the other pizza. Yesterday we had Ajura's birthday party with friends. He wanted to only invite boys from his class so we did. That only includes 5 other kids. Perfect right? Well 2 couldn't make it but the twins and Brody were in so we planned the party. Yesterday afternoon I get a text from the twins mom, she had forgotten the party and sent the twins out of town with their grandparents. So now the party is Brody. Yep one kid. When I got home to break the news to Ajura, he had been playing all day with Ella. He sneaks up to me and asks, "Can I invite Ella to my party?" Why yes you can little buddy since no one else will be there. So I tell him he needs to ask Ella if she will come to his party. So he walks up to here and sayings, "Ella do you want to come to my party?" I stop him and say, "Ask her will" so he looks at me and says, "I am sweating." Wipes the sweat from his brow and says to Ella, "Will you come to my party tonight?" It was so cute. Ella was wonderful and came to the party so he had Brody and Ella. Teha, Brett, Ella's dad Chris, and Karl and I, pretty good adult to kid ratio. The kids ran around and had a great time even though the weather was awful. We had a scavenger hunt and everything. He claims he had fun.

I will leave you with a piss pump...as the boys call a fist bump. I refuse to teach them differently.

All You Can Do is Laugh...and Maybe Drink

I know I just posted not too long ago and you are all probably sick of my rambling but I have to tell you about the last couple of days.  Mostly today because it was hilarious.

It has been a crazy hectic couple of days! We went to Baudette for the weekend to visit grandma Shelley, grandpa Big Hair, auntie Jenny, uncle Tony, Zackary and baby Carston.  We got back late Sunday afternoon so I started laundry, ate, and got the kids to bed.  At this point we realized the kiddos don't have school tomorrow. Seriously we have no idea what we are doing, Ajura almost didn't have a valentine's box either this year.  Anyway, so we called my lovely parents and they were ecstatic about having the boys on Monday.  After some more talking we also realized that I was on call that day and Karl had curling, therefore, unless Ajura all of a sudden is old enough to babysit if I get called in (which I did) we would be SOL. So another call to the parents and sleep over it is! So being the prepared parent I am the boys were all packed and Karl got them to my parents Monday morning. Taa daa.

Well before curling as Karl is eating pork chops and I picked up Taco Bell on the way home (we need a frat mom or something to do this grocery thing) we realize Ajura needs his library books for school tomorrow and oh by the way Karl leaves for Gwinner for work in the morning. So another call to the parents to beg for dad to bring Ajura to school in the morning and we also realize that our usual Tuesday Ahmi watcher is still out of town so mom can you please watch him all day.  Lucky us the grandparents have it under control.

This morning we both get up too early and head to work. Karl gets to Gwinner safely and after work I manage to get groceries and pick up both the boys. So excited to see their sweet faces! We get home and they help me unload the car (no small task), have a snack, work on reading with Ajura, and then I let the boys play Just Dance while I finish stocking the cupboards. I also have to break the news to them that ah-po-dee the fish died on our watch. I decide to work out (which I haven't done much of lately) and the kids watch me the whole time, laughing. I feel awesome. I especially have to start working out after this weekend while at the pool and stripping down to my bathing suit and Ahmi goes, "wow, big mommy coming."  After my work out I start to cook dinner. I am making these yummy Brie, apple, and ham paninis. After buttering 4 slices of bread, Ajura walks over and says, "mommy, Ahmi caca on the floor." If that doesn't startle you I don't know what would. So I hurry to the bathroom raying it is at least on the tile, phew, it is and here is my Ahmi pants around his ankles with caca all over them trying to clean up the floor with toilet paper.  I tell him it's ok and work on getting his pants off and getting him into the shower. Ahmi is yelling, "look Ajura! Ahmi shower first!" Of course you are showering first, you have caca all over your butt! I get him and the bathroom cleaned up and his clothes in the wash and send Ajura up to shower. I get downstairs and restart dinner and reach for the buttered bread and there is nothing to be found and I have two dogs staring at me suspiciously. Sure enough, the dogs ate my bread I had labored over. I'm not gonna lie, I am glad Ahmi had his Just Dance music up loud because some nasty words came out. I settle, re-butter the bread, reach for the ham and what do you know...GONE! I'm gonna kill those dogs. So Ajura got a Brie and apple panini, Ahmi got saltine crackers (perhaps it was the double dose of Mexican food the grandparents went with yesterday) and a pepto. Now Ajura is worried Ahmi is going to die like ah-po-dee. Explained that situation. Off to bed they went.

This day would have been a disaster had the boys not been so stinking wonderful. Ajura helped me
clean up the bathroom and bathed himself. He is such as amazing kid. He also picked out of train movie from the bookmobile today just for Ahmi and when Ahmi saw that his eyes lit up and he said, "oh thank you Ajura!" and hugged and kissed him. Ahmi tried so hard and was so embarrassed about his mess but we got through it.

I just heard the door so thank God Karl is home!! He can deal with the dog blow outs...

The Family that Deworms Together, Stays Together

It has been quite some time again since my last post. Time really does fly once you have kids. All spare seconds are hoarded to spend with the boys. Firstly, I need to apologize for not getting thank you cards sent for all the wonderful gifts, cards, and thoughts we received throughout the holiday season (my grandma is going to be so disappointed, she sends the best thank yous). There is no excuse but life has been beyond the point of extraordinarily busy. Can I just promise to be better and better yet I will teach the children to be better...please...

Here is what we have been up to:

Shortly after Christmas Karl and the kids went to Baudette, MN to visit Karl's family. Unfortunately due to the nature of my work I wasn't able to go with. I was a pretty lonely mommy for a few days. So glad the kids went and had so very much fun with Grandma Shelley, Grandpa Big Hair (seriously that is what the kids call Kent), Auntie Jenny, Uncle Tony, and cousin Zackary, and baby Carson amongst many other family members. They did a lot of ice fish hunting, sledding, and family time.

Once home they were back to school, preschool, and other activities. Ajura continues to do really well in school and has grown so much socially that it makes us all proud. He now tells us he has friends and is able to tell us who they are and hangs out with his buddies after basketball games. That shy boy that wouldn't look others in the eye or say hello is blossoming. He is surrounded by an amazing group of kids at his school. He got his first basket during a basketball game last week. Even more crazy to me is that Ajura is now READING!!! A little boy who didn't speak English 6 months ago is reading. It absolutely floors me. I am working on Haitian Creole and am so jealous of his brains.

Ahmi is enjoying school. He says he is learning how to eat. He is also quite the kleptomaniac. I have to check his pockets as soon as he gets home. This is quite embarrassing. So far he has "collected" pieces of projects at school, a spoon, and a cellphone (thankfully a non-functioning one). Thankfully his teachers have a sense of humor.

Ajura's English skills are so fun right now because he has enough master of the language to be able to start telling me things about Ethiopia. The other day while in the shower he was telling me that his shower in Ethiopia wasn't like ours at home. He had to go to the water and shower on a rock, sometimes he jumped in, but if the water was 'this high' there were crocodiles so he couldn't go there. It was close to his house but was slippery on the sides. SO interesting!

It was also time for more caca samples. Joy. Another joy, still positive for giardia and tapeworms so this time we ALL got to be dewormed. Our new family motto is the family that deworms together stays together. We made a celebration out of it after dinner. Our pills were our dessert.

Another big deal was sleeping in the igloo. Yep, we have an igloo in the backyard and if you are friends with Karl on facebook you can see the pictures. So Karl wanted an igloo maker (a box on a stick) for Christmas and being the amazing wife that I strive to be (haha) managed to give that to Karl from the boys. So one night while I was on call and sleeping at the hospital all my boys slept in the igloo. Overnight. All night. Amazed. So glad I wasn't home and asked to participate. The boys were only afraid of the animals and concerned that the animals may steal their shoes but otherwise slept soundly.

The boys attended their first rodeo this last weekend with Bill and Janie. They had quite the stories to tell about horses chasing cows and then the cow fall down and sheep. It was probably just as entertaining listening to them tell their stories. We are also now owners of a fish, thanks to the St. Mary's Carnival. It was two fish but Muscles died off quickly and Ah-po-dee (apparently fish in Amharic or something) is thriving.

Speaking of Muscles...the kids are really into giving out nicknames lately. Of course Karl gets a nickname like Muscles (the kids named the fish after him) and my name would be Big Mommy. Thanks guys...

The family highly enjoys the Just Dance game and it is perfect for these cold days when the kids can't run outside. Between One Direction, Justin Bieber, and Ricky Martin we are one jamming household. Big Mommy is the best... so far... Ajura is catching up quickly.

Until next time.

The Spears