Winter has officially started in North Dakota. We are getting snow! I LOVE IT!! I am such a snow girl but unfortunately I believe I may have a cold-blooded son. Ahmi literally slows down in the cold. We were getting out of the pool the other day and walked into the cool hallway and he stops dead in his tracks and says, "Momma, Kota." Shivers. Then continues walking but is doing it robot style. Like serious pop and locking. He has turned into a chameleon that had its heating lamp turned off. This may be an interesting winter. I should also explain the Kota part. Kota is my parent's dog and Ahmi and Kota have had a few misunderstandings. You see, Kota likes to bark (charming quality that my dad has instilled in her) and she will chase moving things (she is a hunting dog). Neither of the qualities mix well with a 3 year old. So the name Kota is well imprinted in Ahmi's brain. Therefore anything that sounds like Kota, like for instance cold or coat, is just Kota. Leaves a lot up for translation.
We are on week two of school and things are going really well. We have our issues with getting dressed in the morning. Although I let him pick out most of his attire we still somehow end up with a battle and that leads to Ajura sitting in his bedroom in complete shut down mode which sometimes then leads to me dressing him like a life sized "My Buddy" doll (remember those, ha) and then dragging/carrying him to the car so we aren't late for school while Ahmi is dancing and circling us both like a cat singing, "Momma's makina!" I am pretty sure our dogs are looking at me like, "Wow, why do people cage up animals for entertainment when they could be witnessing this." Luckily for him, Karl is gone by this time in the morning. Don't you worry buddy, your time is coming up when I go back to work. Insert evil laugh. This week, thankfully, I have not had to drag him to the car because he actually really looks forward to school. Once I start the car and back out of the garage he runs downstairs and puts his shoes on and gets in the car. After the pouting is over, I always ask Ajura to look me in the eyes (which is a big thing for him), tell him we are a family and that we will always love him and be together, even when we have bad days, and he will say sorry to me and then I give him a hug. He definitely does not hug or kiss me without prompting and definitely will not hug me back but we are getting there. Getting him to look me in the eyes is huge. Yesterday, after school, we were driving home and Ajura said, "Momma, window down, please." It almost brought tears to my eyes because this is coming from my son who usually just demands things. I know it sounds crazy that this small gesture meant so much but it was a genuine please that didn't need prompting. We definitely have our ups and downs every single day but they are getting better and better. Today for instance we got ready for school without the smallest of hiccup. Well, let me rephrase, we got dressed without a hiccup, the hiccup was more of a belch that occurred at 5:30 this morning that included kids out of bed and a dog peeing on the floor but you know, small victories. We get to school and Ajura wants to bring a noise maker he received from my friend's birthday party the night before. Ajura wanted to bring it to school which knowing my son as I do would only result in blown eardrums and a phone call. Therefore I refused, unfortunately my timing was poor as he had already exited the car and is standing pretty much in the middle of the school's parking lot. So he shuts down and sits down in the middle of the parking lot where parents are dropping their children off left and right. Here I am holding a backpack and using my best mom voice trying to get him up before we both loose all dignity. This may be crude, but for those of you who have seen the movie "Bridesmaids" and the bride is pooping in the street due to food poisoning and she is waving other cars on is pretty much how I felt in this instance. Yep, I am totally not in control and I have no idea when it will end and did I mention my 3 year old is in the car still? I'm just smiling and waving at all the other families with their children that drive by us. Thankfully, this goes on for only about 5 minutes and he gets up and allows us to go into the school.
Minus the shut downs he is really doing quite well. He rides his bike without training wheels. Takes the garbage out. Is really doing well with English, although hesitant to use it. His understanding amazes me. The birthday party invites have already begun which freaks me out as he literally knows like 11 kids. We went to the pumpkin patch last Friday and when leaving the car he said, "No, No, No Momma." Now I see these words more like a challenge, well let's be honest, I totally ignore them, and carry on. He ended up having a great time. Duh, told ya. Karl gave the kids the business about constantly saying "No" last night and then when we (yes just Karl and myself, woohoo!) went out to dinner last night we decided that we may need to clarify the "never say no" rule. It kind of goes against the whole "say no to drugs/strangers/backwash."
Ahmi has a future in rodeo we think. Thankfully he wears his helmet everywhere he goes (truly, he doesn't know how to get it off so when outside he wears it the entire time he is out there). Back to the rodeo, Ahmi was trying to keep our wild dog Nali in the house while he was opening the back door and wrapped his arms in a choke hold around her neck. Ahmi weighs less than a flea to Nali so she just dashes out the door with Ahmi hanging on around her neck, legs dragging. He finally let go when they got to the steps. Not even a tear shed. So proud. He is full of kisses and hugs. His "be nice" sounds a lot like "penis" which my sister and her fiancee giggle about constantly (ok, I do too, especially when he says "Pe-nice Brett").
I have to say one of the best things currently about being a parent is that right now we can choose so easily what are kids are exposed to. I have to admit I secretly relish in the fact that Ahmi thinks the merry-go-round horses at the mall just sit there and don't move, not understanding that they move once mom puts money in them. All video games are currently "broken." Evil you may think, yep, probably, but they will be exposed to all those things in time and it is fun to watch them love the simple things. Also currently the word "tomorrow" is magical. Seriously, the boys will be watching a cartoon and it is time for shower and bed and they ask, "TV tomorrow?" we say yes and up they jump. Perhaps it just shows they have hope and faith that tomorrow is going to be another crazy but wonderful day. Me too.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
My first days in first grade
I know it has been awhile again. Things were going really well last week and I really didn't have a ton to write about because chaos is much more entertaining to read about (unless it is your family). Highlights of the last week included: started our first day (out of 60!!!) of oral antifungal meds, had 2 playdates, and checked out Ajura's school. Playdates went well and I was proud of both boys working on interacting with other children. But the real big deal of the week has been school. Yep, Ajura and I started first grade this week. This is how it is going...
Last Wednesday we gave school a test drive, meaning we went to the school when all the other kids were gone and Karl and I went with Ajura. He met Sparky the fish is what he would probably tell you about that first encounter. We had a really good experience though. We are going to Apple Creek school and for those of you who don't know it is a small country school. Seriously, there are only 4 students in 6th grade and Ajura's class is the largest with 12. Not only are the small class sizes a bonus, but Ajura is the only student that needs an ELL (English Language Learner) teacher and therefore he has a ELL teacher one-on-one in addition to his 1st grade teacher. AWESOME!! Kinda funny thing is his ELL teacher came here from South Korea last year and has a bit of an accent. She is so wonderful with Ajura and the first thing she said to me is, "I remember being scared and overwhelmed coming here, so my first order of business is to get him to feel that I am his safe person and he is safe at school. Then we work on the language portion of things." She deals so gracefully with his breakdowns and doesn't baby him but makes him feel safe. Pretty good for a little country school. This first time in the school he was really excited about his desk and like I said Sparky the fish, but he wasn't too keen on leaving his items from his backpack in his desk.
Day 2 of school: BAD!!!! We arrived at recess time and we were going to give him a test to see if he needed us at school. Well the fact that when he saw Karl start to drive away and FREAKED out would probably point to the fact that we aren't ready for going to school solo. Kind of a set-back but his teacher is ready for day 3 so here we go...
Day 3 of school: Somewhat of success, we actually were able to enter the school for a brief moment but there was no escape for those of us that have passed first grade previously. He watched the other children play at recess but would not participate. Understandable. However, I will mention that he is bigger than even some of the 6th grade girls and it makes me giggle.
Phew the weekend, tough week at school since we put a total of maybe 3 hours in. However, this weekend the boys went to the pool for the first time. Anne was so excited to take them swimming and we were a bit anxious because all other experiences with water have caused them to be nervous (they think crocodiles are going to eat them on the river). The kids literally RAN into the swimming pool. Mind you, neither one can swim or float at all but they LOVED the water and playing around. Too bad the lifeguards were Nazis about everything. I mean really we have 5 people in the pool for 2 kids. One is a anesthesiologist, a nurse anesthetist, two lifeguards, and an engineer (Karl can build a better life jacket or something). I think the children were well guarded to say the least. Sweet, now we have an awesome manipulation tool.
Monday morning Ajura was actually excited for school because Karl promised him a ride on the tractor (which they call a dozer) if he went to school. Perhaps we should have specified that he had to stay there all day and not cry. Minor detail. So I get him into the building without a hassle and he sits in his desk and I learn about homophones. Ajura gets to play with a puzzle. My favorite part of first grade was when a little girl brought her caterpillar to show and tell and the interesting fact was that she thought the caterpillar was dead. My least favorite part was the total meltdown in the middle of the day where Ajura cried for about 1 hour straight. Thankfully, his teacher was great about the whole ordeal and I was eventually able to leave the school for the last part of the day after I ate lunch with him. I did participate in after lunch recess and Ajura was running around and he had a harem of girls following him from place to place. Everyone at school is very interested in him. I find it interesting that due to childhood obesity rates the schools will not provide 2% milk for the kids but they still feed them breaded chicken sandwiches. After school, while I was driving Ajura home, he was just jabbering in the back seat about his day so excitedly. Too bad I couldn't understand even a third of it but is was still so fun to hear him be so animated. Since he stayed at school all day, Karl gave him a ride on the tractor when he got home. Ajura sat on the tractor for an hour waiting for Karl to get home! Fairly good first day.
Tuesday didn't start out well at all. I got up and again we let Ajura pick his outfit to avoid any meltdowns. Then I tried to use the Nudred in his hair (which worked GREAT!) and he got angry and sat down on the step and wouldn't move which makes it very difficult for me to get him into the car and into the school. So we are late for school and I have to literally carry him in. His teacher brings out a stack of pictures that girls in other grades made for him to try to get him to participate. FINALLY he will get up and walk to his desk. After about 30 minutes I am excused and I get NO phone calls! Ajura stayed in school all day without me on the second day! I am very impressed. Therefore, after school we went to the fire station where my friend works. The boys had such a great time! Then when Karl got home it was another ride on the tractor. Anne brought pizza out for us last night which was YUMMY.
Well this whole post is about Ajura but a few things about Ahmi: he currently thinks his name is Amen, he is a disaster at the dinner table, and he told the dogs he loved them yesterday when we were leaving the house (without prompting). He is such a good little guy. He has been able to hang out with our friend Bill the last couple of days while I was experiencing 1st grade and Karl is back at work. He is doing well with this adjustment however he really wants to go to school too with Ajura. No tears but always has the bummed out look when we say we are just dropping Ajura off.
Last Wednesday we gave school a test drive, meaning we went to the school when all the other kids were gone and Karl and I went with Ajura. He met Sparky the fish is what he would probably tell you about that first encounter. We had a really good experience though. We are going to Apple Creek school and for those of you who don't know it is a small country school. Seriously, there are only 4 students in 6th grade and Ajura's class is the largest with 12. Not only are the small class sizes a bonus, but Ajura is the only student that needs an ELL (English Language Learner) teacher and therefore he has a ELL teacher one-on-one in addition to his 1st grade teacher. AWESOME!! Kinda funny thing is his ELL teacher came here from South Korea last year and has a bit of an accent. She is so wonderful with Ajura and the first thing she said to me is, "I remember being scared and overwhelmed coming here, so my first order of business is to get him to feel that I am his safe person and he is safe at school. Then we work on the language portion of things." She deals so gracefully with his breakdowns and doesn't baby him but makes him feel safe. Pretty good for a little country school. This first time in the school he was really excited about his desk and like I said Sparky the fish, but he wasn't too keen on leaving his items from his backpack in his desk.
Day 2 of school: BAD!!!! We arrived at recess time and we were going to give him a test to see if he needed us at school. Well the fact that when he saw Karl start to drive away and FREAKED out would probably point to the fact that we aren't ready for going to school solo. Kind of a set-back but his teacher is ready for day 3 so here we go...
Day 3 of school: Somewhat of success, we actually were able to enter the school for a brief moment but there was no escape for those of us that have passed first grade previously. He watched the other children play at recess but would not participate. Understandable. However, I will mention that he is bigger than even some of the 6th grade girls and it makes me giggle.
Phew the weekend, tough week at school since we put a total of maybe 3 hours in. However, this weekend the boys went to the pool for the first time. Anne was so excited to take them swimming and we were a bit anxious because all other experiences with water have caused them to be nervous (they think crocodiles are going to eat them on the river). The kids literally RAN into the swimming pool. Mind you, neither one can swim or float at all but they LOVED the water and playing around. Too bad the lifeguards were Nazis about everything. I mean really we have 5 people in the pool for 2 kids. One is a anesthesiologist, a nurse anesthetist, two lifeguards, and an engineer (Karl can build a better life jacket or something). I think the children were well guarded to say the least. Sweet, now we have an awesome manipulation tool.
Monday morning Ajura was actually excited for school because Karl promised him a ride on the tractor (which they call a dozer) if he went to school. Perhaps we should have specified that he had to stay there all day and not cry. Minor detail. So I get him into the building without a hassle and he sits in his desk and I learn about homophones. Ajura gets to play with a puzzle. My favorite part of first grade was when a little girl brought her caterpillar to show and tell and the interesting fact was that she thought the caterpillar was dead. My least favorite part was the total meltdown in the middle of the day where Ajura cried for about 1 hour straight. Thankfully, his teacher was great about the whole ordeal and I was eventually able to leave the school for the last part of the day after I ate lunch with him. I did participate in after lunch recess and Ajura was running around and he had a harem of girls following him from place to place. Everyone at school is very interested in him. I find it interesting that due to childhood obesity rates the schools will not provide 2% milk for the kids but they still feed them breaded chicken sandwiches. After school, while I was driving Ajura home, he was just jabbering in the back seat about his day so excitedly. Too bad I couldn't understand even a third of it but is was still so fun to hear him be so animated. Since he stayed at school all day, Karl gave him a ride on the tractor when he got home. Ajura sat on the tractor for an hour waiting for Karl to get home! Fairly good first day.
Tuesday didn't start out well at all. I got up and again we let Ajura pick his outfit to avoid any meltdowns. Then I tried to use the Nudred in his hair (which worked GREAT!) and he got angry and sat down on the step and wouldn't move which makes it very difficult for me to get him into the car and into the school. So we are late for school and I have to literally carry him in. His teacher brings out a stack of pictures that girls in other grades made for him to try to get him to participate. FINALLY he will get up and walk to his desk. After about 30 minutes I am excused and I get NO phone calls! Ajura stayed in school all day without me on the second day! I am very impressed. Therefore, after school we went to the fire station where my friend works. The boys had such a great time! Then when Karl got home it was another ride on the tractor. Anne brought pizza out for us last night which was YUMMY.
Well this whole post is about Ajura but a few things about Ahmi: he currently thinks his name is Amen, he is a disaster at the dinner table, and he told the dogs he loved them yesterday when we were leaving the house (without prompting). He is such a good little guy. He has been able to hang out with our friend Bill the last couple of days while I was experiencing 1st grade and Karl is back at work. He is doing well with this adjustment however he really wants to go to school too with Ajura. No tears but always has the bummed out look when we say we are just dropping Ajura off.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
No, Ay, Ah-deh-lem, shoulder shrug, any way you slice it, it is my least favorite word right now. Why, you may ask? Because I feel like that is all I have heard today. "Is the food good Ajura?" Ay Ay Ay (as he continues to devour it). "Ride in the car/makina?" (favorite thing for them to do) Gambellan shoulders shrugs all around. Fantastic. I have been griping about this all day. Being told "no" constantly regardless of when if they want or don't want, like or don't like makes me feel like I am boarding the crazy train. Tonight while at my parents' for dinner the "nos" we're flying back and forth and although my parents and Teha and Brett understand it embarrasses me a little when my mom asks the kids if they like the food that they have spent a bunch of time on and their response is "no" (of any kind) with a smirky smile. I try to smooth it over by trying to explain to them that that is not nice and it hurts people's feelings. Yep, too complex when your vocabulary with your children is about 30 words. Brett did bring up a good point, he said something along the lines of, I bet they hear no a lot too and are probably just getting you back. Jerk, but darn you are probably right. During a day it does feel like a ton of "no" a bit of "yes" and even a few "hell no" (well not really but the inflection in ones voice applies the hell portion). So tomorrow I am going to try to decrease my no and redirect instead and maybe, just maybe they will throw me a bone.
We are functioning pretty well. Poor little Ahmi had more bloodwork drawn on Friday. I was still feeling sick until yesterday so we had a laid back Friday. Saturday was a blast! I hit up Folkfest with Kelli and then we went to get Ella from riding horse. On the way back to my house, we picked up a clipper for the boys' hair. You guessed it! Ahmi is now rocking a mohawk. Love it! Ajura will be getting his cut tomorrow. Also on our way home, we saw two dogs running down the middle of the highway so we stopped to pick them up for fear of them getting run over. So for an hour or so I had 4 dogs and three kids at my house. One of the dogs was just a puppy and Ajura was so in love. He was trying to get the puppy untangled from under the table and the puppy was kissing his face like crazy and he was just giggling. Once the dogs left, Ella went to go play in the tree house and after a minute or so Ajura followed her and they played the rest of the evening. Ahmi participated as well but Ella and Ajura are closer in age. I was so happy to see my little boy laughing and playing and letting go a little with this awesome little girl. They played until the sun went down and then we put the boys to bed and my parents and sister joined us for conversation out on our back deck. Beautiful night and so much fun.
Sean came over today and met the kids for the first time. We had a great time with him. The boys are starting to take to visitors more quickly. They are shy and hang on to Karl or I for only about 5 minutes now and then they are starting to interact with the visitors. Ahmi has become very affectionate and will give kisses and when I put him down for a nap today he just laid with my and softly rubbed my face. Ahmi also helped me fold laundry and put it away tonight which was a fun task and it was so nice to get the help! Ajura is still our more difficult nut to crack and I think sometimes it is hard for everyone because Ahmi (for many reasons) is more outgoing and affectionate and charming so one easily bonds with him but you have to be persistent without being overbearing to get Ajura. He is just figuring out this whole trust thing. Seeing him reach out and play with Ella was a wonderful sight. I love it when people get to see the side of Ajura that Karl and I get to see. The boy with the belly laugh and protective nature, who loves animals and soaks up every bit of information that goes past him. Like all things, it is so worth the time and effort, because you get paid back infinitely.
We are functioning pretty well. Poor little Ahmi had more bloodwork drawn on Friday. I was still feeling sick until yesterday so we had a laid back Friday. Saturday was a blast! I hit up Folkfest with Kelli and then we went to get Ella from riding horse. On the way back to my house, we picked up a clipper for the boys' hair. You guessed it! Ahmi is now rocking a mohawk. Love it! Ajura will be getting his cut tomorrow. Also on our way home, we saw two dogs running down the middle of the highway so we stopped to pick them up for fear of them getting run over. So for an hour or so I had 4 dogs and three kids at my house. One of the dogs was just a puppy and Ajura was so in love. He was trying to get the puppy untangled from under the table and the puppy was kissing his face like crazy and he was just giggling. Once the dogs left, Ella went to go play in the tree house and after a minute or so Ajura followed her and they played the rest of the evening. Ahmi participated as well but Ella and Ajura are closer in age. I was so happy to see my little boy laughing and playing and letting go a little with this awesome little girl. They played until the sun went down and then we put the boys to bed and my parents and sister joined us for conversation out on our back deck. Beautiful night and so much fun.
Sean came over today and met the kids for the first time. We had a great time with him. The boys are starting to take to visitors more quickly. They are shy and hang on to Karl or I for only about 5 minutes now and then they are starting to interact with the visitors. Ahmi has become very affectionate and will give kisses and when I put him down for a nap today he just laid with my and softly rubbed my face. Ahmi also helped me fold laundry and put it away tonight which was a fun task and it was so nice to get the help! Ajura is still our more difficult nut to crack and I think sometimes it is hard for everyone because Ahmi (for many reasons) is more outgoing and affectionate and charming so one easily bonds with him but you have to be persistent without being overbearing to get Ajura. He is just figuring out this whole trust thing. Seeing him reach out and play with Ella was a wonderful sight. I love it when people get to see the side of Ajura that Karl and I get to see. The boy with the belly laugh and protective nature, who loves animals and soaks up every bit of information that goes past him. Like all things, it is so worth the time and effort, because you get paid back infinitely.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
More Ca Ca
Well I left off on Sunday with a feeling of celebration regarding ca ca. I guess that means we will start on Monday. Oh and by the way, don't get too spoiled, these daily updates are going to eventually go away because most of the time our life is really not this exciting. You would have been so bored had a posted a lot before the kids because Karl, myself, and the dogs were pretty tame. In fact, half the time I think we all forgot about each other. I was at Walmart and was for some reason standing by the fish department (?) and was thinking to myself, "I should get the boys some fish so they can have a pet." Ummm duh, we have two dogs. The dogs are just so wonderful and meld into our lives so much that they aren't seen as pets. The boys absolutely love them and Ajura will try out more English on Kinde than he will with either Karl or myself. But again I digressed...
Monday: Yep still sick. Called MY doctor this time and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow because this simply cannot go on. I had a HUGE list of things to do today. 1. Call Dr. Anderson's office to schedule Ahmi's TB test. 2. Drop the ca ca off at the clinic (which may I just state was improperly labeled, all vials had Ajura's name and none for Ahmi, and since I work in health care I knew that my scribbling Ahmi's name on the other vial wouldn't suffice so I had to call into the clinic and get the labels all redone before I dropped them off) 3. Call the school and talk to Ajura's teacher to see when he can start. 4. Call Burleigh County Public Health (BCPH) to schedule their immunization appointments. Completed all tasks. Ajura's teacher is wanting him to stop by next Wednesday to see his classroom and see his desk. I tried to talk to Ajura about school but all I get is "Ay Ay Ay" a.k.a. "No No No." This may be a tough transition but he will make it. We have been blessed by very few meltdowns since last week. Karl and I realized that Ajura has literally no pants so I get to go shopping again this week sometime. Joy. Anyway, we have been following our same routine and things are going pretty well. We had the boys blood drawn today which was icky. Mom doesn't like it in the least. Ahmi was kicking so hard his shoes flew across the room. The ladies really did do a nice job though. It is amazing how powerful stickers are. It was as if nothing had happened. Prior to drawing labs, Karl and I plus the boys all visited the surgicenter where I work sometimes and showed off the boys. Of course, my co-workers did what they do best and sugared the kids up as much as possible. Their glucose levels on their blood tests will probably be sky high. The boys did really well with meeting quite a group of people. I was proud of them. After labs we went home and played. Karl and I decided I needed a mini break and so I met some friends out for a margarita in the afternoon. As I am leaving, I give each boy a kiss and say, "See ya later, I love you." To Karl I say, "See ya later babe." As I walk away Ajura calls out to me, "See ya later babe." Bonus. While out for margaritas and complaining about our poop scooping weekend, I get a phone call from the lab. They didn't give us the correct vials for the tests that we need done so they destroyed (?!) our samples and at our convenience we can come and pick up a whole new bag of supplies to start over. I almost started to sob. My one friend suggested I demand my poop back and pour the ca ca into the "new" vials on their desks with a TaDAAA! His hopes were crushed when I said our ca ca had been destroyed already. Alas. I called and left a nasty message on our pediatrician's voicemail for her to return my call the next day. Other than that life was pretty dandy.
Tuesday: Still sick. Thankfully my doctor's appointment is today so I get to get drugs. Yippee. Also the cleaning lady comes today so I can pretend I keep a tight ship running! It is about time too, the boys hair picks up dog hair which is pretty embarrassing. When people stop over we rapidly wipe boogers and practically Furrminate the boys. We all head out to my parent's to let the cleaning lady work. I would live in a van before I would give up my cleaning lady, I know, very spoiled. The boys play with bubbles and jump on the trampoline. I leave for my appointment. Shockingly (sarcastic), I have a sinus infection. So I drive to our pharmacy to get my antibiotics and want to pick up the boys anti fungal meds. The pharmacist is saying that the insurance company is denying that we have children. Dear Insurance company, you are welcome to come to my house and see that we indeed have children, we will even allow you to get a stool sample of your own if you like. Because, believe me, I would not do this for any random children. Oh well, we will get that straightened out. Our adoption coordinator helped us with that and hopefully all will be straightened out by Friday or Monday. Ajura has been worried about one of his teeth so I also scheduled a dentist appointment for Wednesday. I know, we are nuts right! I guess I am just looking forward to getting all of this out of the way. My aunt and uncle bought the boys a wagon and it was delivered today. We are going to open it tomorrow and set it up as we are all tired after the day.
Wednesday: Still sick. We get up and get ready to go to the dentist at 8:30. Wow, totally did a horrible job guessing how long it takes to get ready to go anywhere. We were 5 minutes late so not too bad and I called them and gave them a heads up. Another lesson learned. I am beyond amazed at how well the boys did at the dentist. Granted, we took them to a pediatric dentist who I have worked with for years and adore. He and his staff were so incredible. The boys both tolerated a brushing lesson and a cleaning and polishing. Ahmi wasn't too keen on the flossing. Ahmi's teeth got a perfect bill of health. Ajura's also looked good and our dentist believes his age (according to his teeth) looks spot on. Interestingly though, the dentist pointed out how amazed he was at how calm Ajura was with the exam and cleaning due to his "previous trauma." I was kinda perplexed and although I work with him occasionally I know absolutely nothing about teeth. I thought that Ajura had lost all his front primary teeth already due to the fact he was missing all four incisors. Not so, says the dentist. He has lost only one primary tooth on the bottom (another is loose) but his four incisors were removed at a young age (apparently it is a cultural thing he has seen from other children from Ethiopia). Interesting, poor kiddo. Karl had to run Ahmi to his TB test appointment so our friend Bill picked Ajura and I up from the dentist to meet at home. As Ajura and I were waiting, Ajura looks out the window and says, "Bill's makina (sp?)." I was like, yeah sure kid, like you can remember what Bill's car looks like. To appease him we go outside and sure enough it was Bill. Ajura never ceases to amaze me with how much he retains. He is a sponge. We had a very busy morning but the afternoon was very relaxed. I was solo with the kids all afternoon as Karl went back to work for the last half of the day. Wow have we all made progress. Oh and the wagon is a HUGE hit. I have even taught Ahmi how to pull mom in the wagon :)
Thursday: Still sick. Dreading today, because it is immunization day. Trying to start the day out better my mother and I went shopping for school supplies and clothes for the boys that have more substance. It is getting colder and athletic shorts aren't going to make it much longer. Found some great stuff at Old Navy. Got home around noon and Karl headed to work while I entertained the boys for some time before we went to the dreaded shots appointment. Anne came over to help and Ahmi did what any normal child would do by farting at her. Nice moves kid. Two of the three ca ca tests are back and they do have some friends growing in there so we will be starting some meds as soon as the insurance company believes we have kids. Until then, go bleach! We leave a bit early to the appointment so I can drop off our final ca ca sample. As we are leaving the clinic, somewhat in a rush, I am buckling Ahmi in and apparently, while Ajura is trying to get in the car and buckling up, our car door hit the neighboring car. This old man (mind you, he is wearing a three piece suit on a Thursday to the clinic) gets out and starts giving me the business about my son hitting his shnazy Chevy Impala with our car door. I apologize and examine the Impala to see if he indeed made a door ding and cannot find anything, while this old man continues to give me the business about he is old enough to know not to be slamming car doors into other people's cars. I finally turn to him and say, "Again, sir (like vinegar in my mouth trying to be polite), I am very sorry, I can give you my insurance information." He continues to complain and again I apologize but add, "my son has been in the country for less than 2 weeks, he has doesn't even speak English yet and currently I am just working on teaching him not to run into the street in front of a car, do you want my insurance information or not." He grumbles no and I get into the car, just fuming. We get to the appointment barely on time due to my altercation with Impala guy. Then I get to sit and hold my screaming Ahmi while they poke him with multiple needles. Poor guy, however, couldn't have been too bad because again they throw some stickers in and tears are immediately gone. Kinda like me with ice cream. Ajura has a tougher time with it and is pretty angry with us after it is all done. We go home and they both nap and mom has a beer with Anne. Ahmi wakes up and comes downstairs and cries. Don't quite get why but he does this sometimes after his nap. Just whimpers and cries for about 20 minutes. We play outside and then have dinner. Karl and I both received spontaneous kiss from Ajura today. He was a happy boy until bedtime when I was setting him up to brush his teeth and he was angry because I didn't use his new toothpaste from the dentist. I explained that we were going to use that when we went on vacation. He then pouted, wouldn't move (which made brushing his hair much easier) and then Karl just put him in bed and he was mad and cried. He quickly came around though. Now off to bed for us all.
Till the next time...
Monday: Yep still sick. Called MY doctor this time and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow because this simply cannot go on. I had a HUGE list of things to do today. 1. Call Dr. Anderson's office to schedule Ahmi's TB test. 2. Drop the ca ca off at the clinic (which may I just state was improperly labeled, all vials had Ajura's name and none for Ahmi, and since I work in health care I knew that my scribbling Ahmi's name on the other vial wouldn't suffice so I had to call into the clinic and get the labels all redone before I dropped them off) 3. Call the school and talk to Ajura's teacher to see when he can start. 4. Call Burleigh County Public Health (BCPH) to schedule their immunization appointments. Completed all tasks. Ajura's teacher is wanting him to stop by next Wednesday to see his classroom and see his desk. I tried to talk to Ajura about school but all I get is "Ay Ay Ay" a.k.a. "No No No." This may be a tough transition but he will make it. We have been blessed by very few meltdowns since last week. Karl and I realized that Ajura has literally no pants so I get to go shopping again this week sometime. Joy. Anyway, we have been following our same routine and things are going pretty well. We had the boys blood drawn today which was icky. Mom doesn't like it in the least. Ahmi was kicking so hard his shoes flew across the room. The ladies really did do a nice job though. It is amazing how powerful stickers are. It was as if nothing had happened. Prior to drawing labs, Karl and I plus the boys all visited the surgicenter where I work sometimes and showed off the boys. Of course, my co-workers did what they do best and sugared the kids up as much as possible. Their glucose levels on their blood tests will probably be sky high. The boys did really well with meeting quite a group of people. I was proud of them. After labs we went home and played. Karl and I decided I needed a mini break and so I met some friends out for a margarita in the afternoon. As I am leaving, I give each boy a kiss and say, "See ya later, I love you." To Karl I say, "See ya later babe." As I walk away Ajura calls out to me, "See ya later babe." Bonus. While out for margaritas and complaining about our poop scooping weekend, I get a phone call from the lab. They didn't give us the correct vials for the tests that we need done so they destroyed (?!) our samples and at our convenience we can come and pick up a whole new bag of supplies to start over. I almost started to sob. My one friend suggested I demand my poop back and pour the ca ca into the "new" vials on their desks with a TaDAAA! His hopes were crushed when I said our ca ca had been destroyed already. Alas. I called and left a nasty message on our pediatrician's voicemail for her to return my call the next day. Other than that life was pretty dandy.
Tuesday: Still sick. Thankfully my doctor's appointment is today so I get to get drugs. Yippee. Also the cleaning lady comes today so I can pretend I keep a tight ship running! It is about time too, the boys hair picks up dog hair which is pretty embarrassing. When people stop over we rapidly wipe boogers and practically Furrminate the boys. We all head out to my parent's to let the cleaning lady work. I would live in a van before I would give up my cleaning lady, I know, very spoiled. The boys play with bubbles and jump on the trampoline. I leave for my appointment. Shockingly (sarcastic), I have a sinus infection. So I drive to our pharmacy to get my antibiotics and want to pick up the boys anti fungal meds. The pharmacist is saying that the insurance company is denying that we have children. Dear Insurance company, you are welcome to come to my house and see that we indeed have children, we will even allow you to get a stool sample of your own if you like. Because, believe me, I would not do this for any random children. Oh well, we will get that straightened out. Our adoption coordinator helped us with that and hopefully all will be straightened out by Friday or Monday. Ajura has been worried about one of his teeth so I also scheduled a dentist appointment for Wednesday. I know, we are nuts right! I guess I am just looking forward to getting all of this out of the way. My aunt and uncle bought the boys a wagon and it was delivered today. We are going to open it tomorrow and set it up as we are all tired after the day.
Wednesday: Still sick. We get up and get ready to go to the dentist at 8:30. Wow, totally did a horrible job guessing how long it takes to get ready to go anywhere. We were 5 minutes late so not too bad and I called them and gave them a heads up. Another lesson learned. I am beyond amazed at how well the boys did at the dentist. Granted, we took them to a pediatric dentist who I have worked with for years and adore. He and his staff were so incredible. The boys both tolerated a brushing lesson and a cleaning and polishing. Ahmi wasn't too keen on the flossing. Ahmi's teeth got a perfect bill of health. Ajura's also looked good and our dentist believes his age (according to his teeth) looks spot on. Interestingly though, the dentist pointed out how amazed he was at how calm Ajura was with the exam and cleaning due to his "previous trauma." I was kinda perplexed and although I work with him occasionally I know absolutely nothing about teeth. I thought that Ajura had lost all his front primary teeth already due to the fact he was missing all four incisors. Not so, says the dentist. He has lost only one primary tooth on the bottom (another is loose) but his four incisors were removed at a young age (apparently it is a cultural thing he has seen from other children from Ethiopia). Interesting, poor kiddo. Karl had to run Ahmi to his TB test appointment so our friend Bill picked Ajura and I up from the dentist to meet at home. As Ajura and I were waiting, Ajura looks out the window and says, "Bill's makina (sp?)." I was like, yeah sure kid, like you can remember what Bill's car looks like. To appease him we go outside and sure enough it was Bill. Ajura never ceases to amaze me with how much he retains. He is a sponge. We had a very busy morning but the afternoon was very relaxed. I was solo with the kids all afternoon as Karl went back to work for the last half of the day. Wow have we all made progress. Oh and the wagon is a HUGE hit. I have even taught Ahmi how to pull mom in the wagon :)
Thursday: Still sick. Dreading today, because it is immunization day. Trying to start the day out better my mother and I went shopping for school supplies and clothes for the boys that have more substance. It is getting colder and athletic shorts aren't going to make it much longer. Found some great stuff at Old Navy. Got home around noon and Karl headed to work while I entertained the boys for some time before we went to the dreaded shots appointment. Anne came over to help and Ahmi did what any normal child would do by farting at her. Nice moves kid. Two of the three ca ca tests are back and they do have some friends growing in there so we will be starting some meds as soon as the insurance company believes we have kids. Until then, go bleach! We leave a bit early to the appointment so I can drop off our final ca ca sample. As we are leaving the clinic, somewhat in a rush, I am buckling Ahmi in and apparently, while Ajura is trying to get in the car and buckling up, our car door hit the neighboring car. This old man (mind you, he is wearing a three piece suit on a Thursday to the clinic) gets out and starts giving me the business about my son hitting his shnazy Chevy Impala with our car door. I apologize and examine the Impala to see if he indeed made a door ding and cannot find anything, while this old man continues to give me the business about he is old enough to know not to be slamming car doors into other people's cars. I finally turn to him and say, "Again, sir (like vinegar in my mouth trying to be polite), I am very sorry, I can give you my insurance information." He continues to complain and again I apologize but add, "my son has been in the country for less than 2 weeks, he has doesn't even speak English yet and currently I am just working on teaching him not to run into the street in front of a car, do you want my insurance information or not." He grumbles no and I get into the car, just fuming. We get to the appointment barely on time due to my altercation with Impala guy. Then I get to sit and hold my screaming Ahmi while they poke him with multiple needles. Poor guy, however, couldn't have been too bad because again they throw some stickers in and tears are immediately gone. Kinda like me with ice cream. Ajura has a tougher time with it and is pretty angry with us after it is all done. We go home and they both nap and mom has a beer with Anne. Ahmi wakes up and comes downstairs and cries. Don't quite get why but he does this sometimes after his nap. Just whimpers and cries for about 20 minutes. We play outside and then have dinner. Karl and I both received spontaneous kiss from Ajura today. He was a happy boy until bedtime when I was setting him up to brush his teeth and he was angry because I didn't use his new toothpaste from the dentist. I explained that we were going to use that when we went on vacation. He then pouted, wouldn't move (which made brushing his hair much easier) and then Karl just put him in bed and he was mad and cried. He quickly came around though. Now off to bed for us all.
Till the next time...
Sunday, September 9, 2012
First week as the 4 Spears...
Well you have survived my meandering mind so far and have obviously come back for more so here it goes. I have to agree with my friend Arnell who posted to me on facebook that it's hopefully at least entertaining for all you to read but it is therapeutic to write as well. Yes, I am kinda off the cuff and pretty brutally honest but the other adoption blogs that I look up to aren't all about unicorns and rainbows. They are about real families having real struggles and really good times too.
I have never watched more cartoons in my life. Like Karl said yesterday, "Didn't cartoons only used to be on Saturdays and if you missed them you were screwed?" Well, all I can say is thank you NickJr, Sprout, and Cartoon network because otherwise I would be in serious therapy. The Lorax is an awesome movie!! Don't get me wrong, the TV is completely raising our kids. It gives Karl and myself a second to actually talk to each other besides the usual, "Grab that kid!" or "Your turn to get the poop sample!" Which by the way is done thanks to Ajura's final ca ca (poop) this evening so Yippee!!! Okay sorry, I have digressed.
So the boys woke up at 6:45 last Saturday morning rearing to go and mom was like please, no!!! Thankfully, her lovely husband is a morning person so Karl pops out of bed, which was easy since he was so worried the boys would be disorientated if they woke up in the middle of the night that he slept on an air mattress on the floor of their bedroom. My reasoning to solve that problem, if they fall down the stairs they will never do it again. Thank goodness Karl is around. I got up shortly there after and Karl's mom and sister came over for breakfast. It was very fun having them around and for them to get to spend some time with the boys before they headed back home. We spend the rest of the day following the boys around the house putting out fires and turning off light switches. Every light switch is a beacon and I know am a firm believer that all light switches should be installed at a height of seven feet. I told Karl that all we do is turn off light switches, wipe butts, and wipe boogers. He agreed. My sister and Brett came over that evening to make us dinner and played with the kids a bit and after the kids went to bed we had a beer with them and my parents stopped by because my dad has a sixth sense for beer and BS. Sweet, adult conversation and beverages. Unfortunately, I was falling asleep at the table by 9 so I kicked everyone out.
Sunday, hmmm, what did we do? The boys decide 5 a.m. is an appropriate wake up time. And oh yes, we decided to learn to ride a bike. Helmets applied, check. Bikes attained, check. Training wheels..., seriously Karl, you forgot training wheels?! And of course it is a Sunday so no training wheel stores are open so guess what we did. Pushed the kids on bikes for 4 hours. No LIE!!! Ahmi is so over learning to pedal because why would one when someone else will just push you. So we finally get training wheels and Ajura is doing pretty good with the bike. Ahmi still would rather sit on the bike and smile and wave. Gosh he is too cute. Maybe that is why he gets away with it. We stick close to home these two days but decide tomorrow to maybe venture out to my parents house. The boys have been doing overall pretty well. Ahmi still has naughty moments and tantrums but there is no more having to hold him down, until nap time. That is a menace, however, it is far worse when he is overtired so it is worth the 15 minutes of screaming. He literally lays there in my arms, kinda wrapped up, and screams for Ajura. It is really difficult that my child screams for his brother instead of Karl or myself. However, as the days went on he would start to scream for Karl, whom he calls either Father or Karl currently which is hilarious. I guess he doesn't scream for me because I am the evil witch holding him down. However, by Thursday, we can get him to nap by just reading to him and out he goes. School is going to be successful for him, haha. Ajura is still painfully quiet with the occasional fits, but also the occasional sweet smile and contagious laugh. His fits are always more extreme and longer lasting. They are icky. We keep to a pretty tight schedule. Wake up, eat breakfast, watch Seasame Street while mom and father discuss the days events, play outside, eat lunch, play inside, Ahmi naps/Ajura has quiet play time, Ahmi wakes and we play outside again until dinner, then we watch a movie, then baths and bedtime. Speaking of dinner, the kids are like vultures, you so much as enter the kitchen and they want to hover and eat everything. We have to watch them because otherwise you notice teeth marks in our uncooked squash that was sitting on the counter. They also don't realize that food has to be prepared and it doesn't just fall from the sky. Ahmi has major crying fits in the evening as we are trying to cook supper because he thinks it should be ready instantaneously.
Monday, another 5 a.m. wake-up call. However, no one has peed the bed so that is good. Karl again does the morning shift. Ajura has a cough and runny nose going on but doesn't seem to sick otherwise. We decide to go over to my parents in the late morning to check out the trampoline and jump on the trampoline with Teha and Brett. Ahmi jumped right onto the trampoline and giggled his cute little butt off and Ajura was more hesitant but eventually with Karl, Ahmi, and me on the trampoline he would jump. Then we were awarded with his fantastic laugh. Ahmi has a great laugh too, it is very Woody the Woodpeckerish. We jumped and then went on a ride in the golf cart. Then my mom made tacos which the boys devoured. Interestingly, we are not having ANY issues with food except that we can't seem to have enough. They eat like crazy! We truly have to limit their eating otherwise they will say they are hungry all the time. Karl needs to start donating plasma... Anyway, after our visit we headed home and did our daily routine. It is nice because during nap time, Karl will usually go and have some time to himself while I spend time with Ajura. Then he gives back by letting me sleep in a bit in the mornings. Works for us.
Tuesday, yet again 5 a.m. After the morning routine we decide to go to the zoo and have our friend Bill take some family photos as we don't have any pictures of the 4 of us yet. The boys enjoy the zoo, Ajura is very nervous and sticks close to Karl without showing to much interest in the animals. We only do about half the zoo so as not to overstimulate the boys. We decide to stay at the park and eat sandwiches for lunch. Ajura just wanted to go home. We decided to make him stay with us (well, duh, it isn't like he can drive yet) and have him realize that once in awhile we need to be outside our comfort zone but know we are here for him and we will always go home. He did finally play on some equipment and sit down to eat with us, however, during lunch we split a bag of chips for the boys to share. Ajura started to steal Ahmi's chips (new parent mistake number 1, never let your two kids sit next to each other), then I said, no share your chips and started taking chips from Ajura's plate and putting them on Ahmi's (probably shouldn't have done that either), Ajura flips out ripping his plate and throwing all of his remaining food on the ground. Thank goodness we were outside at the park. Then he sits there and pouts, refusing to move, talk, anything. So we calmly finish eating and decide it is time to go home. We tell Ajura we are going to all go home but we can't leave until he picks up his mess. He doesn't move. So I take Ahmi and we go into the car and Karl and Ajura sit together and after about 5 minutes he gets him to pick up his mess and get into the car. He refuses to look at us or talk to us for at least another hour once we are home. He snaps out of it shortly after Ahmi wakes up from his nap. The rest of the night is fairly uneventful. I get a phone call from my awesome cousin Kopper who has adopted two children from Haiti a couple of years ago. She is a great support system to us, along with many of our other friends who have traveled this journey. The great piece of advice she gave me was basically this, you can tell those kids that cars fly and they will believe you, you have a great responsibility with this overwhelming power but you also can then set the limits. Your kids should not be getting up at 5 in the morning. They can get up, but they can lay in their beds until you are ready to get up. So I was empowered and when the boys got up at midnight, I calmly put them back to bed and said, "You stay in bed until mom or dad comes to get you in the morning." Amazingly, it works. Most nights. However, the sentence had to be made longer to, "You stay in bed until mom or dad comes to get you in the morning, or if you need to shinty (pee) or ca ca (poop)." We did have our first bed wetting experience after I first laid down the law. This has been amazing for us. Finally we are getting our ca ca together.
Wednesday. The boys got up when Karl went in to get them at 7. Amazing. Not amazing, the fact that I have woken up with the cold from hell. My throat is on fire and my head feels like a bowling ball. Great, I am sure to be an awesome mom under these conditions. Thankfully, Father/Dad/Karl of the year, Karl took the reins and I slept most of the day. I honestly couldn't even really tell you what happened except that we ate dinner together.
Thursday. I am still feeling horrible and apparently Ajura is having a rough one too. This morning, while outside playing Ahmi was having a tantrum so Karl brought him inside to his cold medicine overdosed wife, prior to bringing him in Ajura asked if he could ride bike on the road, Karl said no. As soon as Karl stepped inside he was off to the road. Karl ran out, stopped him and took his bike away. He got mad, took his helmet off and threw it in the ditch and refused to pick it up or walk to the house. Karl then threw him over his shoulder and carried him to the driveway were he pouted. He refused to talk, walk, anything. He has been doing this a lot the past couple of days. Then Karl finally carried him inside and sat him down in the entryway. Ajura then grabbed a beach ball and bit a hole in in so Karl grabbed him and did the hold on him and he just fought for a few minutes and then burst into tears. Tears that lasted for about one hour. This happened repeatedly throughout the day. I asked for help from the adoptive parents on facebook and they stepped up to the task. I was also directed to read a blog from another adoptive mother (who writes much better than I) called "After the Airport." It is an amazing article and it reaffirmed everything the other adoptive parents are telling us. This is normal, this is ok. This defiance, pouting, grudge holding, breakdowns are all normal and will go away. We stayed close to home due to my cold and Ajura's rough day.
Friday. Still sick. Seriously. At this point, when I don't go outside with the boys and Karl, Ahmi points and asks, "Momma Go?" Karl's so, "No, Momma's sick." Ahmi makes the sign for sleep. Great, he thinks he has a narcoleptic for a mom. Ajura is doing much better today. We have worked out our schedule much better and have set firmer guidelines and rules. There is no more chasing the boys in and out of the house. If they go out, it is for at least a half hour (excludes any shinty or ca ca emergencies of course). They have to play either in the rooms or living room. No kitchen loitering. And if you want to watch a movie, you have to watch the movie and not play your leap pad and legos at the same time. This has really helped Karl and I and I think the boys needed it too to help the overstimulation. Our mantra currently is "One thing at a time." The boys had their pediatrician check ups today. All was well but for minor skin stuff and yippee we have to get stool samples. Lab work and shots are coming up next week. Not looking forward to that. The boys played independently in the backyard today, which was a first. They really enjoyed pushing the canoe out from the woods and paddling it in the grass. And to think we bought the hot wheels track...
Saturday. Still sick. Same as Friday for the most part. Went to my parents to jump on the tramp and ride on the golf cart. We took the boys and Kota (my parent's dog) to Misty Waters so they could see her fetch a stick from the water. Ajura is interested in the water but will not get close because he thinks something is going to jump out of the water and eat him, he shakes his head 'no' and takes his arm and goes chomp chomp. Guess that is what they have to teach their children in Africa about rivers and lakes. Interesting. We went back to my parents to eat and after eating the boys are jumping on the tramp and while Ajura is coming down, Ahmi is coming up and hits Ajura in the jaw with his head. Ajura screams and falls down and starts to sob. I am thinking great, we have just broken our son's jaw with the other kids head. Thankfully, the tears are short lived and he will open and close his mouth for me. Ahmi is crying because he feels bad. Time to get back in the car and go home. We get home and both boys nap. When Ajura gets up he eats some fruit snacks which I feel should be a diagnostic test for jaw fractures with how sticky and gummy they are. Later on in the evening Karl takes the boys out with him to help him set up his deer stand. Ajura gets super excited and totally understands that Karl is going to hunt, however, he thinks Karl is going to hide behind a tree and grab the deer by the legs when it walks past. I challenge you Karl to get a deer by Ajura's plan. They thought that was pretty cool.
Sunday. Getting better but still sick. Laundry day. Dear God, thank you for allowing me to be right when I told Karl that the large capacity washer and dryer were worth the extra money. Somehow, half of Ajura's underwear have disappeared. Interesting... Got the last of the ca ca samples today. Yes!!! My parent's and Anne came out to help today as I really needed a nap and Karl really needed to fish. I have decided to start laying out the boys clothes the night before because I was greeted this morning by Ajura wearing a Vikings jersey with olive green sweatpants. Karl was smiling ear to ear. My parents helped with dinner and ate with us. My mom and dad are amazed at the change that even has occurred in a week. I know that things are going to get good and then back to bad during times or transition but I know we will all be ok.
I may tease and joke about the challenges with the boys but we are such lucky parents. With the amount of changes they have gone through in the last week on top of a rough year for them they are truly amazing to me. I have to thank their birth mother because these boys know what it is like to be loved. Thank you for loving them before we could. We will always remind them of your love for them. Ajura has the best dimples in the world and when he laughs it makes you stop in your tracks and smile from the inside out. Ahmi always has this twinkle in his eye and is just like his mom when it comes to waking up from naps, we just need a second before the world jumps at us again. I remember staring at these boys in Ethiopia and to be honest I was scared of them. I didn't know what they were going to do next and I couldn't read them. I have a ton more to learn but I can already anticipate breakdowns as well as excitement. I no longer am afraid of them, I know how bad things can get but they get oh so very good too.
I have never watched more cartoons in my life. Like Karl said yesterday, "Didn't cartoons only used to be on Saturdays and if you missed them you were screwed?" Well, all I can say is thank you NickJr, Sprout, and Cartoon network because otherwise I would be in serious therapy. The Lorax is an awesome movie!! Don't get me wrong, the TV is completely raising our kids. It gives Karl and myself a second to actually talk to each other besides the usual, "Grab that kid!" or "Your turn to get the poop sample!" Which by the way is done thanks to Ajura's final ca ca (poop) this evening so Yippee!!! Okay sorry, I have digressed.
So the boys woke up at 6:45 last Saturday morning rearing to go and mom was like please, no!!! Thankfully, her lovely husband is a morning person so Karl pops out of bed, which was easy since he was so worried the boys would be disorientated if they woke up in the middle of the night that he slept on an air mattress on the floor of their bedroom. My reasoning to solve that problem, if they fall down the stairs they will never do it again. Thank goodness Karl is around. I got up shortly there after and Karl's mom and sister came over for breakfast. It was very fun having them around and for them to get to spend some time with the boys before they headed back home. We spend the rest of the day following the boys around the house putting out fires and turning off light switches. Every light switch is a beacon and I know am a firm believer that all light switches should be installed at a height of seven feet. I told Karl that all we do is turn off light switches, wipe butts, and wipe boogers. He agreed. My sister and Brett came over that evening to make us dinner and played with the kids a bit and after the kids went to bed we had a beer with them and my parents stopped by because my dad has a sixth sense for beer and BS. Sweet, adult conversation and beverages. Unfortunately, I was falling asleep at the table by 9 so I kicked everyone out.
Sunday, hmmm, what did we do? The boys decide 5 a.m. is an appropriate wake up time. And oh yes, we decided to learn to ride a bike. Helmets applied, check. Bikes attained, check. Training wheels..., seriously Karl, you forgot training wheels?! And of course it is a Sunday so no training wheel stores are open so guess what we did. Pushed the kids on bikes for 4 hours. No LIE!!! Ahmi is so over learning to pedal because why would one when someone else will just push you. So we finally get training wheels and Ajura is doing pretty good with the bike. Ahmi still would rather sit on the bike and smile and wave. Gosh he is too cute. Maybe that is why he gets away with it. We stick close to home these two days but decide tomorrow to maybe venture out to my parents house. The boys have been doing overall pretty well. Ahmi still has naughty moments and tantrums but there is no more having to hold him down, until nap time. That is a menace, however, it is far worse when he is overtired so it is worth the 15 minutes of screaming. He literally lays there in my arms, kinda wrapped up, and screams for Ajura. It is really difficult that my child screams for his brother instead of Karl or myself. However, as the days went on he would start to scream for Karl, whom he calls either Father or Karl currently which is hilarious. I guess he doesn't scream for me because I am the evil witch holding him down. However, by Thursday, we can get him to nap by just reading to him and out he goes. School is going to be successful for him, haha. Ajura is still painfully quiet with the occasional fits, but also the occasional sweet smile and contagious laugh. His fits are always more extreme and longer lasting. They are icky. We keep to a pretty tight schedule. Wake up, eat breakfast, watch Seasame Street while mom and father discuss the days events, play outside, eat lunch, play inside, Ahmi naps/Ajura has quiet play time, Ahmi wakes and we play outside again until dinner, then we watch a movie, then baths and bedtime. Speaking of dinner, the kids are like vultures, you so much as enter the kitchen and they want to hover and eat everything. We have to watch them because otherwise you notice teeth marks in our uncooked squash that was sitting on the counter. They also don't realize that food has to be prepared and it doesn't just fall from the sky. Ahmi has major crying fits in the evening as we are trying to cook supper because he thinks it should be ready instantaneously.
Monday, another 5 a.m. wake-up call. However, no one has peed the bed so that is good. Karl again does the morning shift. Ajura has a cough and runny nose going on but doesn't seem to sick otherwise. We decide to go over to my parents in the late morning to check out the trampoline and jump on the trampoline with Teha and Brett. Ahmi jumped right onto the trampoline and giggled his cute little butt off and Ajura was more hesitant but eventually with Karl, Ahmi, and me on the trampoline he would jump. Then we were awarded with his fantastic laugh. Ahmi has a great laugh too, it is very Woody the Woodpeckerish. We jumped and then went on a ride in the golf cart. Then my mom made tacos which the boys devoured. Interestingly, we are not having ANY issues with food except that we can't seem to have enough. They eat like crazy! We truly have to limit their eating otherwise they will say they are hungry all the time. Karl needs to start donating plasma... Anyway, after our visit we headed home and did our daily routine. It is nice because during nap time, Karl will usually go and have some time to himself while I spend time with Ajura. Then he gives back by letting me sleep in a bit in the mornings. Works for us.
Tuesday, yet again 5 a.m. After the morning routine we decide to go to the zoo and have our friend Bill take some family photos as we don't have any pictures of the 4 of us yet. The boys enjoy the zoo, Ajura is very nervous and sticks close to Karl without showing to much interest in the animals. We only do about half the zoo so as not to overstimulate the boys. We decide to stay at the park and eat sandwiches for lunch. Ajura just wanted to go home. We decided to make him stay with us (well, duh, it isn't like he can drive yet) and have him realize that once in awhile we need to be outside our comfort zone but know we are here for him and we will always go home. He did finally play on some equipment and sit down to eat with us, however, during lunch we split a bag of chips for the boys to share. Ajura started to steal Ahmi's chips (new parent mistake number 1, never let your two kids sit next to each other), then I said, no share your chips and started taking chips from Ajura's plate and putting them on Ahmi's (probably shouldn't have done that either), Ajura flips out ripping his plate and throwing all of his remaining food on the ground. Thank goodness we were outside at the park. Then he sits there and pouts, refusing to move, talk, anything. So we calmly finish eating and decide it is time to go home. We tell Ajura we are going to all go home but we can't leave until he picks up his mess. He doesn't move. So I take Ahmi and we go into the car and Karl and Ajura sit together and after about 5 minutes he gets him to pick up his mess and get into the car. He refuses to look at us or talk to us for at least another hour once we are home. He snaps out of it shortly after Ahmi wakes up from his nap. The rest of the night is fairly uneventful. I get a phone call from my awesome cousin Kopper who has adopted two children from Haiti a couple of years ago. She is a great support system to us, along with many of our other friends who have traveled this journey. The great piece of advice she gave me was basically this, you can tell those kids that cars fly and they will believe you, you have a great responsibility with this overwhelming power but you also can then set the limits. Your kids should not be getting up at 5 in the morning. They can get up, but they can lay in their beds until you are ready to get up. So I was empowered and when the boys got up at midnight, I calmly put them back to bed and said, "You stay in bed until mom or dad comes to get you in the morning." Amazingly, it works. Most nights. However, the sentence had to be made longer to, "You stay in bed until mom or dad comes to get you in the morning, or if you need to shinty (pee) or ca ca (poop)." We did have our first bed wetting experience after I first laid down the law. This has been amazing for us. Finally we are getting our ca ca together.
Wednesday. The boys got up when Karl went in to get them at 7. Amazing. Not amazing, the fact that I have woken up with the cold from hell. My throat is on fire and my head feels like a bowling ball. Great, I am sure to be an awesome mom under these conditions. Thankfully, Father/Dad/Karl of the year, Karl took the reins and I slept most of the day. I honestly couldn't even really tell you what happened except that we ate dinner together.
Thursday. I am still feeling horrible and apparently Ajura is having a rough one too. This morning, while outside playing Ahmi was having a tantrum so Karl brought him inside to his cold medicine overdosed wife, prior to bringing him in Ajura asked if he could ride bike on the road, Karl said no. As soon as Karl stepped inside he was off to the road. Karl ran out, stopped him and took his bike away. He got mad, took his helmet off and threw it in the ditch and refused to pick it up or walk to the house. Karl then threw him over his shoulder and carried him to the driveway were he pouted. He refused to talk, walk, anything. He has been doing this a lot the past couple of days. Then Karl finally carried him inside and sat him down in the entryway. Ajura then grabbed a beach ball and bit a hole in in so Karl grabbed him and did the hold on him and he just fought for a few minutes and then burst into tears. Tears that lasted for about one hour. This happened repeatedly throughout the day. I asked for help from the adoptive parents on facebook and they stepped up to the task. I was also directed to read a blog from another adoptive mother (who writes much better than I) called "After the Airport." It is an amazing article and it reaffirmed everything the other adoptive parents are telling us. This is normal, this is ok. This defiance, pouting, grudge holding, breakdowns are all normal and will go away. We stayed close to home due to my cold and Ajura's rough day.
Friday. Still sick. Seriously. At this point, when I don't go outside with the boys and Karl, Ahmi points and asks, "Momma Go?" Karl's so, "No, Momma's sick." Ahmi makes the sign for sleep. Great, he thinks he has a narcoleptic for a mom. Ajura is doing much better today. We have worked out our schedule much better and have set firmer guidelines and rules. There is no more chasing the boys in and out of the house. If they go out, it is for at least a half hour (excludes any shinty or ca ca emergencies of course). They have to play either in the rooms or living room. No kitchen loitering. And if you want to watch a movie, you have to watch the movie and not play your leap pad and legos at the same time. This has really helped Karl and I and I think the boys needed it too to help the overstimulation. Our mantra currently is "One thing at a time." The boys had their pediatrician check ups today. All was well but for minor skin stuff and yippee we have to get stool samples. Lab work and shots are coming up next week. Not looking forward to that. The boys played independently in the backyard today, which was a first. They really enjoyed pushing the canoe out from the woods and paddling it in the grass. And to think we bought the hot wheels track...
Saturday. Still sick. Same as Friday for the most part. Went to my parents to jump on the tramp and ride on the golf cart. We took the boys and Kota (my parent's dog) to Misty Waters so they could see her fetch a stick from the water. Ajura is interested in the water but will not get close because he thinks something is going to jump out of the water and eat him, he shakes his head 'no' and takes his arm and goes chomp chomp. Guess that is what they have to teach their children in Africa about rivers and lakes. Interesting. We went back to my parents to eat and after eating the boys are jumping on the tramp and while Ajura is coming down, Ahmi is coming up and hits Ajura in the jaw with his head. Ajura screams and falls down and starts to sob. I am thinking great, we have just broken our son's jaw with the other kids head. Thankfully, the tears are short lived and he will open and close his mouth for me. Ahmi is crying because he feels bad. Time to get back in the car and go home. We get home and both boys nap. When Ajura gets up he eats some fruit snacks which I feel should be a diagnostic test for jaw fractures with how sticky and gummy they are. Later on in the evening Karl takes the boys out with him to help him set up his deer stand. Ajura gets super excited and totally understands that Karl is going to hunt, however, he thinks Karl is going to hide behind a tree and grab the deer by the legs when it walks past. I challenge you Karl to get a deer by Ajura's plan. They thought that was pretty cool.
Sunday. Getting better but still sick. Laundry day. Dear God, thank you for allowing me to be right when I told Karl that the large capacity washer and dryer were worth the extra money. Somehow, half of Ajura's underwear have disappeared. Interesting... Got the last of the ca ca samples today. Yes!!! My parent's and Anne came out to help today as I really needed a nap and Karl really needed to fish. I have decided to start laying out the boys clothes the night before because I was greeted this morning by Ajura wearing a Vikings jersey with olive green sweatpants. Karl was smiling ear to ear. My parents helped with dinner and ate with us. My mom and dad are amazed at the change that even has occurred in a week. I know that things are going to get good and then back to bad during times or transition but I know we will all be ok.
I may tease and joke about the challenges with the boys but we are such lucky parents. With the amount of changes they have gone through in the last week on top of a rough year for them they are truly amazing to me. I have to thank their birth mother because these boys know what it is like to be loved. Thank you for loving them before we could. We will always remind them of your love for them. Ajura has the best dimples in the world and when he laughs it makes you stop in your tracks and smile from the inside out. Ahmi always has this twinkle in his eye and is just like his mom when it comes to waking up from naps, we just need a second before the world jumps at us again. I remember staring at these boys in Ethiopia and to be honest I was scared of them. I didn't know what they were going to do next and I couldn't read them. I have a ton more to learn but I can already anticipate breakdowns as well as excitement. I no longer am afraid of them, I know how bad things can get but they get oh so very good too.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Yep, we are alive...all of us...barely
Okay. Here we go. Hunker down, cuddle up, sit for a spell because this is going to be a marathon post. It's Saturday night, Karl is finally getting some time with the guys and the kids are in bed. I am also in bed, yep, I am in bed and it is 8:30... on a Saturday (for those of you who know me closely you realize this is quite late for me actually, ha). I am going to try to sum up what has happened since that last post. Unfortunately, everything everyone told me about not having time for myself anymore totally happened so I didn't get to journal as well as I did last time (total lie, I didn't journal at ALL) so this is as much for me as it is for you so someday (if we all survive this) the kids may enjoy reading it. Or not...
So we arrive in Addis early Sunday morning, the 13 hour flight was killer but Ethiopian airlines really is a nice way to fly. We arrived at the Addis View Hotel and while Karl was checking in and getting some money exchanged I ran up to the dining room to see if Rackaways were there. The whole Rackaway family (minus my favorite Maddie) were present and accounted for, including Lowta/Cate. So good to see this beautiful, friendly family who have really become an extension to our family. We have been through some of the toughest stuff together and there has never been anything but kind words, love, and encouragement. Love them! Ok, back to the beginning. We chit chatted with them for a few and then we decided that we needed some sleep before we went to pick up the boys. Being at the Addis View again was very nice. It is wonderful to be in a place that can feel a little like home away from home due to familiarity. The staff here are so courteous and helpful to us throughout our stay with the boys. Karl and I slept until 1ish and then got ready to go to the care center to pick up the boys. Our favorite driver, Benjamin, was there to get us which was another amazing feeling of comfort. We drove to the care center and thankfully Benjamin's English is very good so he was able to tell the nannies we were here to pick up the boys (because we arrived on a Sunday there are no English speaking employees available). The boys were happy to see us and with prompting gave us kisses on the cheeks. Let's be honest, they were WAY more excited about their new clothes. So we changed them and got them in the car and went back to the hotel. At this point the boys and we are in a state of shock and bliss/fear. We color for awhile in the room, play with some dump trucks, and then realize, hmmm what are we going to do for the next 4 days... Being exhausted we went up to eat at 4:30 in the afternoon. This was the first time I witnessed how much these two eat. It is like nothing you have ever seen. I swear. So by 5:30 we are done eating and I decide to take Ahmi (formally known as Obama) downstairs while Karl and Ajura pay our bill. Poor decision. When I get to the room, Ahmi starts this sad whimpering cry that turns into a wail. I just hold him and cuddle him. When Ajura and Karl return he is fine. Ding ding ding, duh, he is terrified of being separated from his brother. Ajura is the only thing in his life that has been stable. So we bathe the boys and all go to bed around 7 (it may have even been 6). The night went pretty good, just a few shinty (pee pees) here and there.
The next day we are still exhausted and to be honest I wake up and see these rambuncous kids and kinda just want to cry. I am pretty sure I did cry. The next section will be putting the next four days all together. Ahmi is really struggling with authority. Then I remember we are these new random white people who all of a sudden pick him up and now are telling him what he can and can't do. Oh yeah, and we don't speak Amharic. When we tell him 'no' he just smiles and continues to do what we told him not to do so finally it resorts to basically holding him still with his arms and legs pinned and he screams and fights. Once he stops fighting us we release him and he continues to cry but eventually falls asleep. Yep, this is a lot of fun. Oh and remember those good table manners I failed to mention above (their table manners the night before were better than Karl's), yep, sometime in the middle of the night those manners got erased. At one point we barely missed losing a entire cutlery set out the window. And once we get Ahmi settled down Ajura has the same defiance fit and Karl has to hold him down. This time Ajura's tantrum lasts for an hour and a half before he finally gives up and falls asleep. So Ajura is crying and Ahmi now starts to cry because Ajura is crying. I start to cry and look at Karl and asks, "How are you dealing with this?" His response, "I am in denial." With a wink, which makes me giggle and then we both continue to comfort the children we have just cattle tied (so to speak). Rackaways get done with Embassy so we all decide to go to Africa Park to let the kids play. Let me tell you something, if Africa Park had not been there we all may not have made it 4 days in a hotel room. Seriously, someone would have died. I don't know who, probably me, I seem to be the weakest link at times. We all pile into the car and deal with the traffic (the prime minister of Ethiopia had died just prior to us arriving and his palace is right across the street from Africa Park so there were miles of lines of mourners paying their respects). Get there and find out they are not open on Mondays. WTF!!!! So we head back to the Addis View and try to entertain the children the best we can on the back patio area of the hotel. Thankfully Rackaways brought a large supply of balloons so the kids had something to play with and on our last day there Karl bought two balls from a local boy and the boys were so excited and happy to play. On the back patio the boys, well okay, Ahmi was a celebrity. Due to his former name, he was the talk of the hotel, the staff even lead him to the back to meet the chef. He had the security guards wrapped around his finger. We all decide to try Africa park the next day after we get through with Embassy. We all go to bed early again, thankfully bath time and bed time are the easiest parts of the day (still are).
Embassy day
We wake up and do the same thing again, eat, cry, sleep, eat, cry, and then go to embassy. At Embassy you wait in a line and then get pushed ahead of the line because we are adoptive parents. Then you go through security (if I had a dollar for every time I went through some sort of security this last two weeks I would not need to work again). Then we wait in this room with a bunch of windows, like the DMV, your family name is called and a English speaking American woman swears us in behind a window. We can barely hear her. She asks a few questions and then answers many of our questions regarding the childrens' birth parents. In 10 minutes it is over and we are officially done with this adoption. Such a weird feeling. We now just have to wait for our documents to arrive Thursday morning. We get back to the hotel and go to Africa park. Hallelujah!!! This was the first time I heard Ajura's full on belly laugh. He just loved the slide!!! Being the awesome mom that I am, I almost broke my child's legs here. Ajura is a climber (just like his parents) and climbs to the top of a play set (it is at least 9 feet high) and looks as if he is going to stand on the top. I say no and he sits down nicely and then he asks me something in Amharic which I translated to be "Look mom how nice I am sitting" and I say "yes" and then smile. What he was really asking was "Hey mom, can I jump from the top of here?" So he flies through the air and lands on his feet and I am just standing there in shock like a total ass. The Ethiopian girl playing next to us says to me, "You should check his legs." Which I was totally going to do but he was gone already. Guess he was ok and no tib-fib fractures to worry about. We let Ajura, Ahmi, and Lowta/Cate run for about 1.5 hours and then Benjamin picked us up and took us to eat at Lucy's. Very good food again. We went to bed straight after with very tired kids (yeah, we were exhausted too).
Rackaways left us on Wednesday evening. So during the day on Wednesday we had our coffee ceremony at the care center. Prior to the coffee ceremony we played at the hotel on the patio, I received great parenting advice from Andrea, (like don't run after them down the hall, just leave them be, they are looking for attention), and they got to see one of Ahmi's meltdowns. Chapman's words of advice for me, "First phrase to teach these boys when you get home is, TAKE A LAP!" Thank goodness for 3 acres. Now looking back I think this is the last time I had to hold Ahmi down for more than 1 minute before he just relaxes. Wow, that makes me feel like we have accomplished something. Anyway, we all drive together to the coffee ceremony and it is fantastic. We were a little concerned with how excited the boys were to be going back to the care center but once there the boys checked in with us constantly to make sure we didn't leave without them. Good to know that even though we are all having mental breakdowns we are better than their previous life. I am not saying that they were not well cared for, not in the least. When we were saying our goodbyes to the nannies, Sister Almaz, Yared, Abebe, and all the other office staff you can tell they were happy for the boys but would miss them. I was very thankful that Sister Almaz gave the childrens' birth mother one of their photo books because we were not able to meet her when we were in country. Thanks to another traveling family, we do have pictures of her and the boys together which my wonderful friends and family had framed in the boys room when they got there. She is beautiful and SOOOOOO tall. I am going to be thought of as the little person in our family. Thankfully, the boys still wanted to leave with us so after more pictures and all the good byes, we all headed back to the hotel. We had planned to go to Africa Park again to wear Lowta/Cate out for her ride back home, but the weather didn't cooperate. We had to say goodbye to our dear Rackaways. We will see you soon!
We woke up on Thursday, the day we are going to start our long journey home. We received our documents as promised and played ball on the patio for many many hours. We also visited Africa Park to try to wear the boys out as much as possible. Ajura saw me start to pack their things and asks "America, aeroplane?" I say yes, and unfortunately/fortunately the kids get super pumped and want to leave pronto. How to explain that we leave in 6 hours... While waiting, the sweet mom that lives next to the hotel, Lily, wanted to braid my hair. So we did that for awhile. She is the sweetest thing ever. At 7 p.m. we were dropped off at the airport. We say our goodbyes to Benjamin and get a guy with a cart and haul all our things through security, well all our things except Ajura's backpack...! In his excitement he left it in the car and in our frazzledness we didn't even think about it until Benjamin was long gone. BUT HIS LEAP PAD IS IN THERE!!!!! So thankfully, the very organized person that I am has the phone number to the hotel and the guy with the cart has a cell phone, he calls the hotel, they give him Benjamin's cell number. Benjamin answers and cart guy (who got a HUGE tip) hands the phone to me and I say, "Benjamin! We forgot Ajura's backpack in the van!!" Benjamin replies, "I am coming!!!" So I take both kids to stand in line at check in while Karl leaves with cart guy and gets the bag and cart guy shuffles him through to the front of the line at security. Wow! And to think this is just the beginning. We check in, go through customs, and finally get to bathrooms and water. However, the bathrooms are right next to the prayer rooms and it is prayer time so the men are washing their feet so Karl is standing in a bathroom line with two little boys for 45 minutes trying to get to the bathroom. Then we go through security again and then get to sit down. By the time the flight is ready to go the boys are both asleep but we have to wake them up otherwise we can't get them and the luggage on the plane. So now we have two overstimulated, tired boys to deal with. Due to the three rows of three Karl is planted in between both boys for the 17 hour flight home (it takes longer because we refuel in Rome). I sit next to a very pleasant woman with her daughter. However, the very pleasant woman wants to sleep on my shoulder for a good 5 hours which makes me very uncomfortable. At that point, I think Karl was snickering that he got the good end of the deal because both boys slept most of the long flight. We arrived in D.C. extremely tired. The boys have gone from seeing their first motion activated door and escalator to having flown across the Atlantic ocean and arrived in Washington D.C. To all the employees at Washington Dulles International, you are the best airport staff I have EVER encountered!!! In immigration we handed over the precious documents and Officer Hernandez holds out each boys passport and visas and in turn says, "Hey buddy, this is really cool, (stamps the visa), welcome to America!"We then pick up our luggage and Ahmi is wanting to be held or else is refusing to walk and we need to drag him on the floor. I have a horrific headache and actually at one point think I am going to pass out (I think from dehydration and exhaustion). So Karl has two kids one of which is dragging on the floor plus a cart of luggage and his falling apart every second wife going through the airport. Of course, we need to go through the extra part at customs, then re-check in and re-check our bags, then go through security again. At security Ahmi is just following my lead and when I take my shoes off he takes his off. The security officer then informs me that children under 12 don't have to remove their shoes. I look at him and say, "If you can explain that to him go right ahead, I think this is just easier." Problem solved. Finally we reach our terminal and the boys are totally fit to be tied. Rolling on the ground, crying, messes. All of us, again, except Karl, cried at Dulles. Then we started the Benadryl. Took a bit to work but Ahmi and Ajura were both konked out for our second 4 hour flight to Denver. We all took "ladies of the night" bathes in the family rest room in Denver and then proceeded to our gate, so excited for the last flight and then we get to go home! Many people in the Denver airport stopped us and said, "What a beautiful family!" That was nice to hear especially since we were so exhausted at this point. The boys actually did really well for the insane amount of culture shock they must have been experiencing and exhaustion. Our final flight was only an hour so the boys were awake and did very well. We landed in Bismarck to a wonderful group of friends and family to meet us! It was quick since we were all fading fast. They took to their car seats well and when we got home we showed them the dogs. Ajura was a little nervous but did really well with Kinde and Ahmi screamed his head off. Not the picture perfect meeting we were hoping for. Ajura did pet Kinde and Nali before we went to bed and Ahmi was just fine with the dogs after a little work the next day. It literally took less than 12 hours for him to be okay with the dogs. A huge part of that was Ajura warming up to them so quickly and showing his brother they are nothing to fear. They saw their bedroom and were so excited!!! As wild and wired as they were, we bathed them and they slept.
Okay I have been writing for over an hour so I am going to go to sleep now, but stay tuned, I will write more tomorrow night.
So we arrive in Addis early Sunday morning, the 13 hour flight was killer but Ethiopian airlines really is a nice way to fly. We arrived at the Addis View Hotel and while Karl was checking in and getting some money exchanged I ran up to the dining room to see if Rackaways were there. The whole Rackaway family (minus my favorite Maddie) were present and accounted for, including Lowta/Cate. So good to see this beautiful, friendly family who have really become an extension to our family. We have been through some of the toughest stuff together and there has never been anything but kind words, love, and encouragement. Love them! Ok, back to the beginning. We chit chatted with them for a few and then we decided that we needed some sleep before we went to pick up the boys. Being at the Addis View again was very nice. It is wonderful to be in a place that can feel a little like home away from home due to familiarity. The staff here are so courteous and helpful to us throughout our stay with the boys. Karl and I slept until 1ish and then got ready to go to the care center to pick up the boys. Our favorite driver, Benjamin, was there to get us which was another amazing feeling of comfort. We drove to the care center and thankfully Benjamin's English is very good so he was able to tell the nannies we were here to pick up the boys (because we arrived on a Sunday there are no English speaking employees available). The boys were happy to see us and with prompting gave us kisses on the cheeks. Let's be honest, they were WAY more excited about their new clothes. So we changed them and got them in the car and went back to the hotel. At this point the boys and we are in a state of shock and bliss/fear. We color for awhile in the room, play with some dump trucks, and then realize, hmmm what are we going to do for the next 4 days... Being exhausted we went up to eat at 4:30 in the afternoon. This was the first time I witnessed how much these two eat. It is like nothing you have ever seen. I swear. So by 5:30 we are done eating and I decide to take Ahmi (formally known as Obama) downstairs while Karl and Ajura pay our bill. Poor decision. When I get to the room, Ahmi starts this sad whimpering cry that turns into a wail. I just hold him and cuddle him. When Ajura and Karl return he is fine. Ding ding ding, duh, he is terrified of being separated from his brother. Ajura is the only thing in his life that has been stable. So we bathe the boys and all go to bed around 7 (it may have even been 6). The night went pretty good, just a few shinty (pee pees) here and there.
The next day we are still exhausted and to be honest I wake up and see these rambuncous kids and kinda just want to cry. I am pretty sure I did cry. The next section will be putting the next four days all together. Ahmi is really struggling with authority. Then I remember we are these new random white people who all of a sudden pick him up and now are telling him what he can and can't do. Oh yeah, and we don't speak Amharic. When we tell him 'no' he just smiles and continues to do what we told him not to do so finally it resorts to basically holding him still with his arms and legs pinned and he screams and fights. Once he stops fighting us we release him and he continues to cry but eventually falls asleep. Yep, this is a lot of fun. Oh and remember those good table manners I failed to mention above (their table manners the night before were better than Karl's), yep, sometime in the middle of the night those manners got erased. At one point we barely missed losing a entire cutlery set out the window. And once we get Ahmi settled down Ajura has the same defiance fit and Karl has to hold him down. This time Ajura's tantrum lasts for an hour and a half before he finally gives up and falls asleep. So Ajura is crying and Ahmi now starts to cry because Ajura is crying. I start to cry and look at Karl and asks, "How are you dealing with this?" His response, "I am in denial." With a wink, which makes me giggle and then we both continue to comfort the children we have just cattle tied (so to speak). Rackaways get done with Embassy so we all decide to go to Africa Park to let the kids play. Let me tell you something, if Africa Park had not been there we all may not have made it 4 days in a hotel room. Seriously, someone would have died. I don't know who, probably me, I seem to be the weakest link at times. We all pile into the car and deal with the traffic (the prime minister of Ethiopia had died just prior to us arriving and his palace is right across the street from Africa Park so there were miles of lines of mourners paying their respects). Get there and find out they are not open on Mondays. WTF!!!! So we head back to the Addis View and try to entertain the children the best we can on the back patio area of the hotel. Thankfully Rackaways brought a large supply of balloons so the kids had something to play with and on our last day there Karl bought two balls from a local boy and the boys were so excited and happy to play. On the back patio the boys, well okay, Ahmi was a celebrity. Due to his former name, he was the talk of the hotel, the staff even lead him to the back to meet the chef. He had the security guards wrapped around his finger. We all decide to try Africa park the next day after we get through with Embassy. We all go to bed early again, thankfully bath time and bed time are the easiest parts of the day (still are).
Embassy day
We wake up and do the same thing again, eat, cry, sleep, eat, cry, and then go to embassy. At Embassy you wait in a line and then get pushed ahead of the line because we are adoptive parents. Then you go through security (if I had a dollar for every time I went through some sort of security this last two weeks I would not need to work again). Then we wait in this room with a bunch of windows, like the DMV, your family name is called and a English speaking American woman swears us in behind a window. We can barely hear her. She asks a few questions and then answers many of our questions regarding the childrens' birth parents. In 10 minutes it is over and we are officially done with this adoption. Such a weird feeling. We now just have to wait for our documents to arrive Thursday morning. We get back to the hotel and go to Africa park. Hallelujah!!! This was the first time I heard Ajura's full on belly laugh. He just loved the slide!!! Being the awesome mom that I am, I almost broke my child's legs here. Ajura is a climber (just like his parents) and climbs to the top of a play set (it is at least 9 feet high) and looks as if he is going to stand on the top. I say no and he sits down nicely and then he asks me something in Amharic which I translated to be "Look mom how nice I am sitting" and I say "yes" and then smile. What he was really asking was "Hey mom, can I jump from the top of here?" So he flies through the air and lands on his feet and I am just standing there in shock like a total ass. The Ethiopian girl playing next to us says to me, "You should check his legs." Which I was totally going to do but he was gone already. Guess he was ok and no tib-fib fractures to worry about. We let Ajura, Ahmi, and Lowta/Cate run for about 1.5 hours and then Benjamin picked us up and took us to eat at Lucy's. Very good food again. We went to bed straight after with very tired kids (yeah, we were exhausted too).
Rackaways left us on Wednesday evening. So during the day on Wednesday we had our coffee ceremony at the care center. Prior to the coffee ceremony we played at the hotel on the patio, I received great parenting advice from Andrea, (like don't run after them down the hall, just leave them be, they are looking for attention), and they got to see one of Ahmi's meltdowns. Chapman's words of advice for me, "First phrase to teach these boys when you get home is, TAKE A LAP!" Thank goodness for 3 acres. Now looking back I think this is the last time I had to hold Ahmi down for more than 1 minute before he just relaxes. Wow, that makes me feel like we have accomplished something. Anyway, we all drive together to the coffee ceremony and it is fantastic. We were a little concerned with how excited the boys were to be going back to the care center but once there the boys checked in with us constantly to make sure we didn't leave without them. Good to know that even though we are all having mental breakdowns we are better than their previous life. I am not saying that they were not well cared for, not in the least. When we were saying our goodbyes to the nannies, Sister Almaz, Yared, Abebe, and all the other office staff you can tell they were happy for the boys but would miss them. I was very thankful that Sister Almaz gave the childrens' birth mother one of their photo books because we were not able to meet her when we were in country. Thanks to another traveling family, we do have pictures of her and the boys together which my wonderful friends and family had framed in the boys room when they got there. She is beautiful and SOOOOOO tall. I am going to be thought of as the little person in our family. Thankfully, the boys still wanted to leave with us so after more pictures and all the good byes, we all headed back to the hotel. We had planned to go to Africa Park again to wear Lowta/Cate out for her ride back home, but the weather didn't cooperate. We had to say goodbye to our dear Rackaways. We will see you soon!
We woke up on Thursday, the day we are going to start our long journey home. We received our documents as promised and played ball on the patio for many many hours. We also visited Africa Park to try to wear the boys out as much as possible. Ajura saw me start to pack their things and asks "America, aeroplane?" I say yes, and unfortunately/fortunately the kids get super pumped and want to leave pronto. How to explain that we leave in 6 hours... While waiting, the sweet mom that lives next to the hotel, Lily, wanted to braid my hair. So we did that for awhile. She is the sweetest thing ever. At 7 p.m. we were dropped off at the airport. We say our goodbyes to Benjamin and get a guy with a cart and haul all our things through security, well all our things except Ajura's backpack...! In his excitement he left it in the car and in our frazzledness we didn't even think about it until Benjamin was long gone. BUT HIS LEAP PAD IS IN THERE!!!!! So thankfully, the very organized person that I am has the phone number to the hotel and the guy with the cart has a cell phone, he calls the hotel, they give him Benjamin's cell number. Benjamin answers and cart guy (who got a HUGE tip) hands the phone to me and I say, "Benjamin! We forgot Ajura's backpack in the van!!" Benjamin replies, "I am coming!!!" So I take both kids to stand in line at check in while Karl leaves with cart guy and gets the bag and cart guy shuffles him through to the front of the line at security. Wow! And to think this is just the beginning. We check in, go through customs, and finally get to bathrooms and water. However, the bathrooms are right next to the prayer rooms and it is prayer time so the men are washing their feet so Karl is standing in a bathroom line with two little boys for 45 minutes trying to get to the bathroom. Then we go through security again and then get to sit down. By the time the flight is ready to go the boys are both asleep but we have to wake them up otherwise we can't get them and the luggage on the plane. So now we have two overstimulated, tired boys to deal with. Due to the three rows of three Karl is planted in between both boys for the 17 hour flight home (it takes longer because we refuel in Rome). I sit next to a very pleasant woman with her daughter. However, the very pleasant woman wants to sleep on my shoulder for a good 5 hours which makes me very uncomfortable. At that point, I think Karl was snickering that he got the good end of the deal because both boys slept most of the long flight. We arrived in D.C. extremely tired. The boys have gone from seeing their first motion activated door and escalator to having flown across the Atlantic ocean and arrived in Washington D.C. To all the employees at Washington Dulles International, you are the best airport staff I have EVER encountered!!! In immigration we handed over the precious documents and Officer Hernandez holds out each boys passport and visas and in turn says, "Hey buddy, this is really cool, (stamps the visa), welcome to America!"We then pick up our luggage and Ahmi is wanting to be held or else is refusing to walk and we need to drag him on the floor. I have a horrific headache and actually at one point think I am going to pass out (I think from dehydration and exhaustion). So Karl has two kids one of which is dragging on the floor plus a cart of luggage and his falling apart every second wife going through the airport. Of course, we need to go through the extra part at customs, then re-check in and re-check our bags, then go through security again. At security Ahmi is just following my lead and when I take my shoes off he takes his off. The security officer then informs me that children under 12 don't have to remove their shoes. I look at him and say, "If you can explain that to him go right ahead, I think this is just easier." Problem solved. Finally we reach our terminal and the boys are totally fit to be tied. Rolling on the ground, crying, messes. All of us, again, except Karl, cried at Dulles. Then we started the Benadryl. Took a bit to work but Ahmi and Ajura were both konked out for our second 4 hour flight to Denver. We all took "ladies of the night" bathes in the family rest room in Denver and then proceeded to our gate, so excited for the last flight and then we get to go home! Many people in the Denver airport stopped us and said, "What a beautiful family!" That was nice to hear especially since we were so exhausted at this point. The boys actually did really well for the insane amount of culture shock they must have been experiencing and exhaustion. Our final flight was only an hour so the boys were awake and did very well. We landed in Bismarck to a wonderful group of friends and family to meet us! It was quick since we were all fading fast. They took to their car seats well and when we got home we showed them the dogs. Ajura was a little nervous but did really well with Kinde and Ahmi screamed his head off. Not the picture perfect meeting we were hoping for. Ajura did pet Kinde and Nali before we went to bed and Ahmi was just fine with the dogs after a little work the next day. It literally took less than 12 hours for him to be okay with the dogs. A huge part of that was Ajura warming up to them so quickly and showing his brother they are nothing to fear. They saw their bedroom and were so excited!!! As wild and wired as they were, we bathed them and they slept.
Okay I have been writing for over an hour so I am going to go to sleep now, but stay tuned, I will write more tomorrow night.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
EMBASSY TRIP August 24 and 25 th
Well due to a bum neck, I unfortunately (or thankfully, who knows) had ample time to pack and plan, but thanks to wonderful friends, family, and of course my amazing husband all "required" pre kiddos tasks have been accomplished and I can proceed with a sense of accomplishment. It is difficult for me to sit by and watch everyone else pull my dead weight around. Karl has taken away my luggage pulling priveledges twice now for what he feels were infractions on the "rules."
Anyway, our flight left Bismarck at 1730. Before dropping us off my dad surprised us and brought a basketball hoop for the boys! Ajura is going to be beyond THRILLED! My mom and dad dropped us off. Security was highly humorous. Bismarck must have recently received their body scanner and they are getting used to it. My hair is up in the normal Lura top knot style and due to the "density" (their words not mine), they needed to pat it (yes, just the top knot) down. Even after I offered to just take it out. We laughed pretty hard. All else was uneventful. Was able to grab my favorite treat in Denver! Caramel apple smothered in nuts and chocolate. Fight to DC was on time and easy. Checked into the hampton inn and got to sleep around 0230. Alarm awoke us at 0630. Great sleep but really just not long enough. Loved the hampton inn though. Airport stuff (you know... Security, check in) all uneventful. Just sitting and waiting to get onto our 13 hour flight to addis. We arrive at 0745. The plan then is to eat breakfast with the rackaways hopefully and then nap and late afternoon head to pick up the boys at the care center!!!
Anyway, our flight left Bismarck at 1730. Before dropping us off my dad surprised us and brought a basketball hoop for the boys! Ajura is going to be beyond THRILLED! My mom and dad dropped us off. Security was highly humorous. Bismarck must have recently received their body scanner and they are getting used to it. My hair is up in the normal Lura top knot style and due to the "density" (their words not mine), they needed to pat it (yes, just the top knot) down. Even after I offered to just take it out. We laughed pretty hard. All else was uneventful. Was able to grab my favorite treat in Denver! Caramel apple smothered in nuts and chocolate. Fight to DC was on time and easy. Checked into the hampton inn and got to sleep around 0230. Alarm awoke us at 0630. Great sleep but really just not long enough. Loved the hampton inn though. Airport stuff (you know... Security, check in) all uneventful. Just sitting and waiting to get onto our 13 hour flight to addis. We arrive at 0745. The plan then is to eat breakfast with the rackaways hopefully and then nap and late afternoon head to pick up the boys at the care center!!!
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